Post #17: A Low Day

Hello Everyone,

Sorry to report that today has not been very good for her, from an emotional and physical standpoint. She really put her heart and soul into making John's art exhibition a reality. She so much wanted to be there and months ago had been planning all the things they would do together up in the Napa Valley, all the friends they would see, restaurants they would go to, etc. I guess, the reality of not being able to go after all that anticipation and preparation and to think that John is there alone without her and she is alone down here without him and with her illness, really hit her hard today.

Physically, she has minimal pain today which is a blessing, but the extreme shortness of breath and racing heartbeat are still there. Just rearranging her pillows brings on these symptoms. She got up earlier this afternoon and almost passed out. I have told her under no uncertain terms that if she gets up, I have to be there to assist her.

Foodwise, she did better today. She has had no nausea today and was able to eat toast with Swiss cheese this morning and iced tea, buttermilk and plain white rice this afternoon. I am also trying to get her to drink "power" and "nutrient" drinks in that she handles liquids better than solids. The only pain she is experiencing today is a band of aching side-to-side across her front lower ribcage area. This afternoon she took some morphine drops to help relieve that pain. Her back aches a bit, but that is from sitting and lying in bed so much.

I have been informed by one of her doctor friends that she could be experiencing a paralysis of her stomach and gastric system which sometimes happens with chemotherapy. Her symptoms certainly seem to indicate that: inability or decreased ability to empty out the stomach completely followed by nausea and vomiting. That would explain what happened to her yesterday.

Earlier this afternoon I went out to get her some hot rice from a local Thai restaurant as well as to stock up on some food items that she has expressed interest in: more orange juice, cornbread, fresh fruit and packaged white rice. While I was gone she was watching TV and reading magazines and her spirits at that time seemed to have picked up a bit. I also got her a new neck pillow and eyeshade which she put to immediate use. But afterward followed the "near passing out" episode. After that she went back to bed, I gave her the morphine drops, and she has been sleeping now since 5:00 p.m.

So, hopefully she will wake up feeling better both physically and emotionally. I have been expecting a return call from her oncologist this early evening, but so far no calls. Believe me, if I don't hear from him tonight, look out! Let me put it this way, I am appalled and dismayed by the medical system and service (oxymorons for sure) in this area, and from what I hear the whole of California isn't much better unless, of course, you can afford to buy your way in. Believe it or not, I get better health care in Spain where, as most of you know, I currently reside. I wish Mama was there!

Thanks again to all of your encouraging comments and emails. They really help her spirits.
Let's all hope for a better day tomorrow.

Melissa