Post #13: Anita's Condition

Dear Everyone,

As you now know, Mother will be staying at Manor Care for the duration of her hospice care. This is a miraculous development and has given John and the rest of us a certain measure of relief. Although John and the family were prepared to handle Anita coming home for hospice care and to take on 24/7 care of her, the emotional and physical toll and drain on John, in my mind, would have been totally unacceptable and would have severely compromised his own health. Being at a professional facility enables constant monitoring by professionals - something not possible at home. As Mother's condition declines, her medication and other needs will change accordingly. These needs will be more swiftly perceived and acted upon if she stays at Manor Care.

A dear friend of Anita's asked about her mood. As of yesterday, I think some of her extreme frustration has diminished a bit but I sense that she really wishes she was making a more speedy exit, so to speak. I would definitely say that she is, at the least, still annoyed. When John or Marcia and I are there, she softens. She likes to stroke our hair and hold our hands. She appears interested in listening to our conversation. She is "rolling her eyes" and "puckering her forehead in exasperation" much less frequently. Even then, it is very difficult to know exactly what she is thinking. As everyone knows, Mom is a very complex person. And now with the doctor saying that part of her brain is gone forever and part of it still there without our knowing exactly which part is gone or present, it makes it even harder to gauge exactly what she is thinking and feeling.

But her face still breaks into a smile when she receives visitors. She still looks like she is comprehending conversation and is aware of who is there. Yesterday Marcia and I read to Mother a short humorous short-story. Whether she understood the whole thing or not I have no idea. But she smiled "amused" smiles at appropriate points in the narrative, had her eyes opened and focused on us the whole time, and consequently appeared to be following along.

Upon leaving her yesterday Marcia and I noticed that she seemed to be in pain. I went to get the nurse who crushed two Tylenol tablets and stirred them into a small amount of chocolate pudding. The nurse and I told Mother that this was pain medication, not nutrition, and that she should take it. Luckily Mother did take a spoonful of the concoction, but she would not take more than that. I am hoping that the amount was sufficient to relieve her discomfort. She is not yet being given morphine nor has she yet been placed on oxygen.

Melissa