Hi All,
Today, we were up early to take Anita for her weekly blood testing in advance of her second chemotherapy session next Tuesday July 3rd. We drive up to the building ( an office building of medical offices). I jump out of the car and run up to the automatic sliding doors so that I can go in and get a wheel chair for Mama. The doors don't open! I peer through the glass and I see workmen in the hallway with tools and parts all over the hallway floor. There are no signs or anything to indicate what's happening. Well, geniuses that we are, we finally realize that there are absolutely no cars in the parking lot except for vans with "air conditioning" writen on the sides! Like, duh!!!
So, brilliantly realizing in our collective wisdom that the building had suffered catastrophic air conditioning failure (which in our current 108 to 112 degree daily temperatures is indeed catastrophic) and, consequently, that the building must be closed because of said problem, we head back home so that Anita can have her morning coffee and some breakfast. She proceeded to eat an "egg on a raft" again, two pieces of bacon, a small patty of sausage, OJ and electrolyte solution, milk, vitamins and a WHOLE papaya.
After that, Mother and I set off to the nail shop . . . and I don't mean hammers. We each got a manicure and a pedicure - Mama's treat! It was wonderful and although it was an effort for her, Mother totally enjoyed getting out and getting pampered. Following that we returned home in time for lunch, of which she enjoyed some white wine, potato chips, and some ham and cheese sandwich squares.
It has been a full day and a good one for Anita. She did have shortness of breath today and some chest constriction, but all in all, the day was painfree and nausea free. Her spirits are upbeat. Indeed, she is now plotting her next redecorating scheme: the master bedroom. So it is wonderful to see her so actively engaged and excited about doing projects. Her mental attitude certainly bodes well for the next stage of her treatment!
Sleep well all,
Melissa
Saturday 30 June 2007
Friday 29 June 2007
Post #26: Next Chemo Treatment
Hello all,
Another great day for Anita! An unbelievable roster of foods eaten: orange juice + electrolyte solution, piece of toast, bowl of protein/hi fiber 7 grain cereal with milk, additional big glass of milk, an "angelcot" (I think a hybrid of apricots and plums), vitamins, a small bowl of potato chips, two small glasses of champagne, four small lamb chops, one huge ravioli, roasted potatoes, plum juice + electrolyte solution, 3 ginger cookies and a whole papaya!!!
We also talked (twice) with the oncologist today. She is scheduled to have her next chemo treatment on Tuesday, July 3rd. We don't know what time yet but they will call us with the time. Between now and then she will get blood testing tomorrow, will eat as much papaya as she can get down (not to mention other foods), and will get as strong as possible. Her color is good. Tonight before bedtime she had morphine drops and a tranquilizer tab. She said her stomach felt a bit achy but that's because she ate too much! What a change!
We have been very concerned about her shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat. We have been reassured by the oncologist that her echocardiogram results show that her heart muscle is healthy and strong and her last blood test results show that her blood is normal - in fact, in excellent condition - that she is fully oxygenated and that there is no gas imbalance. In his opinion she is not suffering cardiotoxic effects at this point in time. She will undergo approximately 2 hours of chemotherapy on the 3rd and will NOT be getting the super chemo drug Rituxan/Rituximab that day. Rather he will give that to her a week or so later.
As a consequence I am extending my stay here (I was originally scheduled to depart on July 3rd). I will stay with Mother and John through the chemotherapy and afterward until she starts recovering from the effects of the treatment. Tonight, due to the wonderful idea of Anita and a good friend of hers, I was treated to dinner at her friend's home. Mother has been concerned that I haven't gotten out enough or had enough "social entertainment." Although that has not been a priority at all with me during my stay here, it was a very relaxing and delightful evening tonight and I very much appreciated it. I got home tonight in time to find Anita and John up watching a murder mystery together! It is so wonderful to see them having such a good time together.
So, another great day and here's to more to follow!
Melissa
Another great day for Anita! An unbelievable roster of foods eaten: orange juice + electrolyte solution, piece of toast, bowl of protein/hi fiber 7 grain cereal with milk, additional big glass of milk, an "angelcot" (I think a hybrid of apricots and plums), vitamins, a small bowl of potato chips, two small glasses of champagne, four small lamb chops, one huge ravioli, roasted potatoes, plum juice + electrolyte solution, 3 ginger cookies and a whole papaya!!!
We also talked (twice) with the oncologist today. She is scheduled to have her next chemo treatment on Tuesday, July 3rd. We don't know what time yet but they will call us with the time. Between now and then she will get blood testing tomorrow, will eat as much papaya as she can get down (not to mention other foods), and will get as strong as possible. Her color is good. Tonight before bedtime she had morphine drops and a tranquilizer tab. She said her stomach felt a bit achy but that's because she ate too much! What a change!
We have been very concerned about her shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat. We have been reassured by the oncologist that her echocardiogram results show that her heart muscle is healthy and strong and her last blood test results show that her blood is normal - in fact, in excellent condition - that she is fully oxygenated and that there is no gas imbalance. In his opinion she is not suffering cardiotoxic effects at this point in time. She will undergo approximately 2 hours of chemotherapy on the 3rd and will NOT be getting the super chemo drug Rituxan/Rituximab that day. Rather he will give that to her a week or so later.
As a consequence I am extending my stay here (I was originally scheduled to depart on July 3rd). I will stay with Mother and John through the chemotherapy and afterward until she starts recovering from the effects of the treatment. Tonight, due to the wonderful idea of Anita and a good friend of hers, I was treated to dinner at her friend's home. Mother has been concerned that I haven't gotten out enough or had enough "social entertainment." Although that has not been a priority at all with me during my stay here, it was a very relaxing and delightful evening tonight and I very much appreciated it. I got home tonight in time to find Anita and John up watching a murder mystery together! It is so wonderful to see them having such a good time together.
So, another great day and here's to more to follow!
Melissa
Thursday 28 June 2007
Post #25: Good Ending to a Great Day
Hello all,
Well, it continued to be a primo day for Anita. A dear friend came over in the late afternoon bringing not only her great company but also dinner for all of us. We feasted on salmon and lamb chops, but more importantly Anita feasted on two small lamb chops, roasted potatoes, a little ravioli and a small glass of champagne!
Although she later admitted that at certain points in the afternoon and early evening she had felt like going back to bed, she held out and stayed up sitting on the couch and enjoying all the social activity which she has been missing greatly. For dinner, she got dressed, did her hair and managed makeup and a little jewelry.
She topped out the evening by having John and me come to talk with her in her newly redone bedroom. I think Mom missed her true calling - that of interior designer! Before going to sleep she had more fruit juice mixed with electrolyte solution, some morphine drops and another tranquilizer pill (Lorazepam). All in all a very successful day all around and one that made Anita very happy.
Sleep well everyone!
Melissa
Well, it continued to be a primo day for Anita. A dear friend came over in the late afternoon bringing not only her great company but also dinner for all of us. We feasted on salmon and lamb chops, but more importantly Anita feasted on two small lamb chops, roasted potatoes, a little ravioli and a small glass of champagne!
Although she later admitted that at certain points in the afternoon and early evening she had felt like going back to bed, she held out and stayed up sitting on the couch and enjoying all the social activity which she has been missing greatly. For dinner, she got dressed, did her hair and managed makeup and a little jewelry.
She topped out the evening by having John and me come to talk with her in her newly redone bedroom. I think Mom missed her true calling - that of interior designer! Before going to sleep she had more fruit juice mixed with electrolyte solution, some morphine drops and another tranquilizer pill (Lorazepam). All in all a very successful day all around and one that made Anita very happy.
Sleep well everyone!
Melissa
Post #24: News Flash!
Good afternoon everyone and a good afternoon it is!
First off, Anita awoke this morning feeling great and with a burst of energy got up, drew the blinds and started hanging up clothes! But she soon realized that she was moving a little too rapidly and had to lie down again. But and these are quotes: "Today is the best I have felt" and even better, "Today is the first day I've felt normal."
Other good news is that she no longer wakes up with that awful taste and scalelike feeling in her mouth (a result of the chemo drugs). The only "bad pain" she has had recently was the night before last when she had not had any morphine drops and she felt some bone pain in her shoulder joints. But that has gone now. Today she has a slight pain in her upper right stomach/abdominal area, but that is where the worst of her previous pain was located to begin with so it is not surprising that she would be feeling something, particularly when she has not been taking much in the way of painkillers.
Around 9:15 this morning, the oncologist's nurse assistant called to inform us that they have received the results of the blood test and that those turned out "OK. Fine." They are expecting to receive the cardio echogram results later today. At that point all of the results will be given to the oncologist for his review and analysis. After that, he should be calling us to discuss the next step. So we're moving along folks.
Mother asked me to tell you all that (subject to consultation with her oncologist in the coming days), she is going to do the next chemo-therapy treatment. She now realizes that the horrible aftereffects of the first chemo treatment, over time, went away and that she has gotten steadily better. Consequently, she feels that she owes it to herself and others to try a second time.
Cheerily, Melissa
P.S. Mother just informed me that if she keeps feeling this feisty, she is going to add her own words to this blogsite. [We're all looking forward to that!!!] And she asked me to type this: "If it hadn't been for my daughter taking care of me, as well as for the astonishing support of all my family and friends, I wouldn't be where I am today!"
First off, Anita awoke this morning feeling great and with a burst of energy got up, drew the blinds and started hanging up clothes! But she soon realized that she was moving a little too rapidly and had to lie down again. But and these are quotes: "Today is the best I have felt" and even better, "Today is the first day I've felt normal."
Other good news is that she no longer wakes up with that awful taste and scalelike feeling in her mouth (a result of the chemo drugs). The only "bad pain" she has had recently was the night before last when she had not had any morphine drops and she felt some bone pain in her shoulder joints. But that has gone now. Today she has a slight pain in her upper right stomach/abdominal area, but that is where the worst of her previous pain was located to begin with so it is not surprising that she would be feeling something, particularly when she has not been taking much in the way of painkillers.
Around 9:15 this morning, the oncologist's nurse assistant called to inform us that they have received the results of the blood test and that those turned out "OK. Fine." They are expecting to receive the cardio echogram results later today. At that point all of the results will be given to the oncologist for his review and analysis. After that, he should be calling us to discuss the next step. So we're moving along folks.
Mother asked me to tell you all that (subject to consultation with her oncologist in the coming days), she is going to do the next chemo-therapy treatment. She now realizes that the horrible aftereffects of the first chemo treatment, over time, went away and that she has gotten steadily better. Consequently, she feels that she owes it to herself and others to try a second time.
Cheerily, Melissa
P.S. Mother just informed me that if she keeps feeling this feisty, she is going to add her own words to this blogsite. [We're all looking forward to that!!!] And she asked me to type this: "If it hadn't been for my daughter taking care of me, as well as for the astonishing support of all my family and friends, I wouldn't be where I am today!"
Wednesday 27 June 2007
Post #23: Started Low But Picked Up Later
Good evening all,
Anita started out the day very tired in that she had insomnia last night. That made her dizzier this morning when she got up than she has been in the past few days. We think the insomnia may have been caused by taking B vitamins too close to bedtime and/or by the long nap she had yesterday afternoon. However, as the day wore on, and after a long nap, she perked up and by evening time she was up and about somewhat. In fact, tonight she walked the longest continuous "circuit" before having to sit down than she has to date.
This evening, we all ended up watching a DVD together of Natalie Dessay's greatest moments on stage. For those who don't recognize the name (I had never heard of her before this year), and at the risk of offending fans of other singers, she is undoubtedly going to go down as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, coloratura sopranos to ever hit the opera stage. The woman is an amazing triple threat - she can sing and act - brilliantly - and is a superb athelete in physique and stamina. Truly amazing.
As is Anita. Mother's ability to rally is phenomenal. Today she consumed OJ with immune boosting powder, 9-grain toast, 1/2 banana, milk, plum juice and electrolyte solution, a ham and cheese sandwich, tea, pork loin, sweet potato and lemon and mango sherbet along with the now usual assortment of vitamins. Tonight in order to ensure a comfortable and rest-filled night, she took morphine drops as well as a tranquilizer.
We were able to get in touch with the oncologist's nurse today and should be able to speak with the oncologist soon. They are tracking down the results of Anita's recent blood test and echocardiogram. So we should be getting some defiinitive information within the next couple of days.
She continues to improve. The only pain she is experiencing is a slight chest pain when she gets very out of breath. She is reading, doing crosswords, planning activities for everyone and generally "being Anita." What a wonderful thing to see.
Melissa
Anita started out the day very tired in that she had insomnia last night. That made her dizzier this morning when she got up than she has been in the past few days. We think the insomnia may have been caused by taking B vitamins too close to bedtime and/or by the long nap she had yesterday afternoon. However, as the day wore on, and after a long nap, she perked up and by evening time she was up and about somewhat. In fact, tonight she walked the longest continuous "circuit" before having to sit down than she has to date.
This evening, we all ended up watching a DVD together of Natalie Dessay's greatest moments on stage. For those who don't recognize the name (I had never heard of her before this year), and at the risk of offending fans of other singers, she is undoubtedly going to go down as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, coloratura sopranos to ever hit the opera stage. The woman is an amazing triple threat - she can sing and act - brilliantly - and is a superb athelete in physique and stamina. Truly amazing.
As is Anita. Mother's ability to rally is phenomenal. Today she consumed OJ with immune boosting powder, 9-grain toast, 1/2 banana, milk, plum juice and electrolyte solution, a ham and cheese sandwich, tea, pork loin, sweet potato and lemon and mango sherbet along with the now usual assortment of vitamins. Tonight in order to ensure a comfortable and rest-filled night, she took morphine drops as well as a tranquilizer.
We were able to get in touch with the oncologist's nurse today and should be able to speak with the oncologist soon. They are tracking down the results of Anita's recent blood test and echocardiogram. So we should be getting some defiinitive information within the next couple of days.
She continues to improve. The only pain she is experiencing is a slight chest pain when she gets very out of breath. She is reading, doing crosswords, planning activities for everyone and generally "being Anita." What a wonderful thing to see.
Melissa
Tuesday 26 June 2007
Post #22: Near Repeat of Yesterday
Good evening all,
Today was very close to matching yesterday in terms of Anita's energy. Certainly her enthusiasm was equal. However, she really wore herself out yesterday with all the excitement of John's homecoming and today experienced a bit more dizziness and shortness of breath than she has in the past two days. However, she took a nice long nap this afternoon and has mainly stayed in bed during the evening, watching an old movie with us and, as usual, making plans and carrying on lively conversations.
She ate well today also. Coffee, 9-grain toast, a little oatmeal, 1/2 a banana, lots of milk, orange juice with an immune booster powder mixed in, B12, B6, Folic Acid, fried chicken again with cole slaw, potato salad and tea. Yesterday she started getting a runny nose so then and today she took a simple decongestant (phenyleprhine hydrochloride). Tonight she is NOT taking any morphine drops at bedtime. She is experiencing no pain other than some slight chest pain when her heart is racing and she is short of breath. Really wonderful progress. The only worrisome item today is that she weighed herself and came in at 134 lbs. She has apparently lost additional weight since the chemotherapy. However, we are doing our best to fatten her up!
Tomorrow we are going to try and contact her oncologist to see if any of the test results have come in, to inquire about future appointments, and hopefully to get some answers to other questions we have.
Sweet dreams to all,
Melissa
Today was very close to matching yesterday in terms of Anita's energy. Certainly her enthusiasm was equal. However, she really wore herself out yesterday with all the excitement of John's homecoming and today experienced a bit more dizziness and shortness of breath than she has in the past two days. However, she took a nice long nap this afternoon and has mainly stayed in bed during the evening, watching an old movie with us and, as usual, making plans and carrying on lively conversations.
She ate well today also. Coffee, 9-grain toast, a little oatmeal, 1/2 a banana, lots of milk, orange juice with an immune booster powder mixed in, B12, B6, Folic Acid, fried chicken again with cole slaw, potato salad and tea. Yesterday she started getting a runny nose so then and today she took a simple decongestant (phenyleprhine hydrochloride). Tonight she is NOT taking any morphine drops at bedtime. She is experiencing no pain other than some slight chest pain when her heart is racing and she is short of breath. Really wonderful progress. The only worrisome item today is that she weighed herself and came in at 134 lbs. She has apparently lost additional weight since the chemotherapy. However, we are doing our best to fatten her up!
Tomorrow we are going to try and contact her oncologist to see if any of the test results have come in, to inquire about future appointments, and hopefully to get some answers to other questions we have.
Sweet dreams to all,
Melissa
Post #21: Stellar Day - Day Two
Hi Everyone!
It's very late so this post will be short. Just got home with John about an hour ago from the airport. He had a spectacular opening to his show. But even more spectacular was the reception he got when he got home. The big surprise was that while he was up north, Anita had her design for her bedroom made into reality: a built-in desk and bookshelves plus re-arrangement of the furniture and artwork on the walls.
I had to practically yell at Mama today to get her off her feet! "Slow down to 20 will ya?!!!! She was so excited about getting the project finished for John to see when he got home. She was actually stacking books on the shelves and carrying stuff around (when I wasn't looking)! But the most outstanding moment for John was to see Anita at the door welcoming him home!
No need to describe everything she ate today because it's a delightful repeat of yesterday, but it is worth mentioning that she had fried chicken for lunch! With a little potato salad and a little cole slaw!!!!! Today she took 800 mcg folic acid, 2500 mcg sublingual B12, 100 mcg B6, and a B-complex plus Vit. C. Tomorrow she will get the same plus selenium and hopefully a multi-vitamin.
Needless to say, John and I are amazed and thrilled by her improvement. Hopefully she will continue at this same rate of progress.
Melissa
It's very late so this post will be short. Just got home with John about an hour ago from the airport. He had a spectacular opening to his show. But even more spectacular was the reception he got when he got home. The big surprise was that while he was up north, Anita had her design for her bedroom made into reality: a built-in desk and bookshelves plus re-arrangement of the furniture and artwork on the walls.
I had to practically yell at Mama today to get her off her feet! "Slow down to 20 will ya?!!!! She was so excited about getting the project finished for John to see when he got home. She was actually stacking books on the shelves and carrying stuff around (when I wasn't looking)! But the most outstanding moment for John was to see Anita at the door welcoming him home!
No need to describe everything she ate today because it's a delightful repeat of yesterday, but it is worth mentioning that she had fried chicken for lunch! With a little potato salad and a little cole slaw!!!!! Today she took 800 mcg folic acid, 2500 mcg sublingual B12, 100 mcg B6, and a B-complex plus Vit. C. Tomorrow she will get the same plus selenium and hopefully a multi-vitamin.
Needless to say, John and I are amazed and thrilled by her improvement. Hopefully she will continue at this same rate of progress.
Melissa
Sunday 24 June 2007
Post #20: Would You Believe!
Hello Anita Fans,
A stellar day! You would not believe Anita today! She was determined to get up and move about as much as possible, in that she is well aware that lying in bed all the time leads to atrophied muscles and diminished energy, both physical and mental. So up she got bright and early, got dressed and even invited two dear friends over for a quick chat. She also proceeded with "the secret project" for John - all of which will be revealed when he arrives home Monday night.
She was up all day - no naps! After a sizeable (for her) breakfast, she walked into the living room, parked herself on the sofa with pillows and proceeded to hold court! After her busy and talkative morning, she finally retired for a nap around 2:00 p.m. That's when I went out to run a couple of errands, but when I got back I discovered that she had not really napped much, had gotten up, even watered a plant, and had sat in a chair and read!
The pain killer patches she has been using are normally replaced every three days. Well . . . it is over three days now and she has not needed a new one. It doesn't mean that she hasn't had some pain. But it does mean that she has not had the horrible pain she experienced before the first chemo treatment. From talking with people and from what I can gather, the new pains she is experiencing are pains caused by the chemo WORKING! As her friends noted this morning and as I have noted for the past two days, her color is much improved as is her stamina. In fact, her friends were amazed at how good she looked.
She last had a nausea medication - to my knowledge - last night. She had absolutely no painkillers today except at bedtime when she asked for some morphine drops (1) because she did overdo it a bit today, and (2) to ensure that she will sleep well tonight.
Today for breakfast (spread out over about an hour) she ate white rice with butter, 1/2 banana, orange juice, milk with a protein drink mixed in, diluted coffee and some papaya. In addition she took folic acid, B-12 and a multi-vitamin. She tolerated all well. For lunch, around 12:30 p.m., she had two sandwich halfs, no crust, one-half ham with mayo, the other half Swiss cheese with mayo, hot tea, and the milk/protein drink combo. When I got home from errands, she had a sip or two of sparkling wine, a brown rice cake, some orange juice, and some boneless beef rib meat. I am very encouraged by her reaction to the B12 and Folic Acid. Tomorrow I'm adding in B6. She says that she can feel the difference. I am also going to get some electrolyte solution and get that part of her physiology back in balance.
The shortness of breath and racing heart have continued, but they have lessened somewhat. She is walking greater distances, slowly yes, but covering new ground. It was so wonderful to see her out sitting in the living room and it was wonderful for her to get out of the bedroom and to enjoy the rest of the house.
One of my missions today was to find her a feminine, lightweight summer cotton nightgown. Well, the very first store I went to, I walked to the sleepwear department and THERE IT WAS just hanging there on the rack ON SALE!! Great timing - the summer sales just started. In fact I got her two nightgowns practically for the price of one, plus a light robe and pajama set that all intermixes. It was clearly meant to be! Now tomorrow I need to find her some nice new slippers to go with it all.
Then there was all the wonderful news from Napa Valley! Apparently John's show and all the related social activities have been a marvelous success. Mama got numerous phone calls today from so many of her great friends and family. It has truly been, even though she got very tired toward the end of it, a very upbeat positive day. She has so deserved that. And to me it signals positive progress in her fight against this disease.
I love today! What a trooper she is, what a fighter and what determination! I am so very proud to be her daughter!
Although who knows what will happen in the days to come, today we can feel very happy for both Anita and John!
Melissa
A stellar day! You would not believe Anita today! She was determined to get up and move about as much as possible, in that she is well aware that lying in bed all the time leads to atrophied muscles and diminished energy, both physical and mental. So up she got bright and early, got dressed and even invited two dear friends over for a quick chat. She also proceeded with "the secret project" for John - all of which will be revealed when he arrives home Monday night.
She was up all day - no naps! After a sizeable (for her) breakfast, she walked into the living room, parked herself on the sofa with pillows and proceeded to hold court! After her busy and talkative morning, she finally retired for a nap around 2:00 p.m. That's when I went out to run a couple of errands, but when I got back I discovered that she had not really napped much, had gotten up, even watered a plant, and had sat in a chair and read!
The pain killer patches she has been using are normally replaced every three days. Well . . . it is over three days now and she has not needed a new one. It doesn't mean that she hasn't had some pain. But it does mean that she has not had the horrible pain she experienced before the first chemo treatment. From talking with people and from what I can gather, the new pains she is experiencing are pains caused by the chemo WORKING! As her friends noted this morning and as I have noted for the past two days, her color is much improved as is her stamina. In fact, her friends were amazed at how good she looked.
She last had a nausea medication - to my knowledge - last night. She had absolutely no painkillers today except at bedtime when she asked for some morphine drops (1) because she did overdo it a bit today, and (2) to ensure that she will sleep well tonight.
Today for breakfast (spread out over about an hour) she ate white rice with butter, 1/2 banana, orange juice, milk with a protein drink mixed in, diluted coffee and some papaya. In addition she took folic acid, B-12 and a multi-vitamin. She tolerated all well. For lunch, around 12:30 p.m., she had two sandwich halfs, no crust, one-half ham with mayo, the other half Swiss cheese with mayo, hot tea, and the milk/protein drink combo. When I got home from errands, she had a sip or two of sparkling wine, a brown rice cake, some orange juice, and some boneless beef rib meat. I am very encouraged by her reaction to the B12 and Folic Acid. Tomorrow I'm adding in B6. She says that she can feel the difference. I am also going to get some electrolyte solution and get that part of her physiology back in balance.
The shortness of breath and racing heart have continued, but they have lessened somewhat. She is walking greater distances, slowly yes, but covering new ground. It was so wonderful to see her out sitting in the living room and it was wonderful for her to get out of the bedroom and to enjoy the rest of the house.
One of my missions today was to find her a feminine, lightweight summer cotton nightgown. Well, the very first store I went to, I walked to the sleepwear department and THERE IT WAS just hanging there on the rack ON SALE!! Great timing - the summer sales just started. In fact I got her two nightgowns practically for the price of one, plus a light robe and pajama set that all intermixes. It was clearly meant to be! Now tomorrow I need to find her some nice new slippers to go with it all.
Then there was all the wonderful news from Napa Valley! Apparently John's show and all the related social activities have been a marvelous success. Mama got numerous phone calls today from so many of her great friends and family. It has truly been, even though she got very tired toward the end of it, a very upbeat positive day. She has so deserved that. And to me it signals positive progress in her fight against this disease.
I love today! What a trooper she is, what a fighter and what determination! I am so very proud to be her daughter!
Although who knows what will happen in the days to come, today we can feel very happy for both Anita and John!
Melissa
Saturday 23 June 2007
Post #19: The Day Ended Well Considering All
Good evening,
Just a note to let you know that Anita rounded out the day in relatively good spirits and we were able to share some laughs and even giggles that Mother and I occasionally indulge in. It was good to hear her laughing and to join in it with her. Just goes to show what a tremendous spirit she has. And the laughter came even after we had watched (another old film) "I'll Cry Tomorrow" (starring Susan Hayward, Jo Ann Fleet and Eddie Albert) about the life story of Lilian Roth which was anything but rosy but which ended on an upbeat note.
After Anita's nap this morning , she awoke in the early afternoon refreshed and requested rice with butter, a little sugar, and some iced tea. Right before the movie she ate cheddar and swiss cheese slices and some Granny Smith apple slices and took a sip of red wine.
She had some different pains today, pains which actually started out low key yesterday but increased today. There are what feel like to her new lumps on her sides below the armpit area that have a burning sensation to them as well as a little pain on her left side under her ribs. There is also what she describes as "a new lump" on her front rib cage on the left side that is a bit painful. In general today, she has had a burning sensation in her abdomen but nothing as bad as the pain she was experiencing before the first chemo treatment. Tonight, as a preventative measure more than as a reaction to current pain levels, she took some morphine drops. She did this last night and it enabled her to sleep through until morning.
So we have ended today on a more positive note and that is indeed a good thing.
Melissa
Just a note to let you know that Anita rounded out the day in relatively good spirits and we were able to share some laughs and even giggles that Mother and I occasionally indulge in. It was good to hear her laughing and to join in it with her. Just goes to show what a tremendous spirit she has. And the laughter came even after we had watched (another old film) "I'll Cry Tomorrow" (starring Susan Hayward, Jo Ann Fleet and Eddie Albert) about the life story of Lilian Roth which was anything but rosy but which ended on an upbeat note.
After Anita's nap this morning , she awoke in the early afternoon refreshed and requested rice with butter, a little sugar, and some iced tea. Right before the movie she ate cheddar and swiss cheese slices and some Granny Smith apple slices and took a sip of red wine.
She had some different pains today, pains which actually started out low key yesterday but increased today. There are what feel like to her new lumps on her sides below the armpit area that have a burning sensation to them as well as a little pain on her left side under her ribs. There is also what she describes as "a new lump" on her front rib cage on the left side that is a bit painful. In general today, she has had a burning sensation in her abdomen but nothing as bad as the pain she was experiencing before the first chemo treatment. Tonight, as a preventative measure more than as a reaction to current pain levels, she took some morphine drops. She did this last night and it enabled her to sleep through until morning.
So we have ended today on a more positive note and that is indeed a good thing.
Melissa
Post #18.5: Leaving comments or emails
Hi Everyone,
It occurs to me that some of you may want to write Anita a private message that is not published on this blogsite. So if you would like to do that, please send it to my email address:
melissa.luce@sbcglobal.net
I check my email daily. Your message will only be seen by myself, Anita and John. As I may not recognize some of your names and email addresses right away, it would be helpful if you include a hint in your Subject line that the email concerns Anita. That way I won't think it is spam.
Of course letters and cards in the regular mail are also very much enjoyed and appreciated by Mother as well.
Thanks everyone for your continued concern and wonderful support for Mother. I don't have the time to respond to everyone who writes, but be assured that all of your comments and emails have been read to her. Yesterday I went through her email account and winnowed out all the spam and carefully looked for personal messages to her. I think I found them all. If you send a message to her at her email address, be sure to also include a reference in your subject line so that I can keep your mail separate from spam and other business-related emails.
Thank you!
Melissa
It occurs to me that some of you may want to write Anita a private message that is not published on this blogsite. So if you would like to do that, please send it to my email address:
melissa.luce@sbcglobal.net
I check my email daily. Your message will only be seen by myself, Anita and John. As I may not recognize some of your names and email addresses right away, it would be helpful if you include a hint in your Subject line that the email concerns Anita. That way I won't think it is spam.
Of course letters and cards in the regular mail are also very much enjoyed and appreciated by Mother as well.
Thanks everyone for your continued concern and wonderful support for Mother. I don't have the time to respond to everyone who writes, but be assured that all of your comments and emails have been read to her. Yesterday I went through her email account and winnowed out all the spam and carefully looked for personal messages to her. I think I found them all. If you send a message to her at her email address, be sure to also include a reference in your subject line so that I can keep your mail separate from spam and other business-related emails.
Thank you!
Melissa
Post #18: Much Better Today
Hi all,
I am happy to report that Anita is feeling much better today, both emotionally and physically (at least painwise). Last night, after she woke up from her nap, her mood had improved considerably. She ate almost a whole banana and drank a glass of milk. This was later followed by some white rice with a little soy sauce for flavoring (she won't do soy sauce again), a couple of potato chips and a sip of beer! We watched some more old movies and had fun chatting and making comments.
This morning she woke up determined to think more positively and to try to move around more - gradually of course - but to improve her stamina. We discovered last night that if she moves in easy stages (i.e. sit up in bed, rest a bit, stand up and walk a little distance, then sit and rest a bit more, etc.) then she can keep the racing heartbeat and shortness of breath manageable.
She started out this morning with a glass of orange juice, diluted coffee, followed by white rice and a tangerine. A little later she drank a glass of milk and ate four crackers and some cheddar cheese slices. She also took one folic acid and one B-12 pill. After a sponge bath and a little freshening up she is feeling much better and is alert, talking and as ever making plans! She's determined that John get a puppy!
A new theory has arisen respecting her racing heartbeat and shortness of breath. When the oncologist tested her oxygen levels he determined that she was fully oxygenated. But what he didn't determine nor order a test for is her CO2 and other gas levels. She might have a gas ratio imbalance. Elevated CO2 in the bloodstream can also cause similar symptoms to oxygen deprivation. Anyhow, it is worth exploring I think.
I will post another update this evening.
Melissa
I am happy to report that Anita is feeling much better today, both emotionally and physically (at least painwise). Last night, after she woke up from her nap, her mood had improved considerably. She ate almost a whole banana and drank a glass of milk. This was later followed by some white rice with a little soy sauce for flavoring (she won't do soy sauce again), a couple of potato chips and a sip of beer! We watched some more old movies and had fun chatting and making comments.
This morning she woke up determined to think more positively and to try to move around more - gradually of course - but to improve her stamina. We discovered last night that if she moves in easy stages (i.e. sit up in bed, rest a bit, stand up and walk a little distance, then sit and rest a bit more, etc.) then she can keep the racing heartbeat and shortness of breath manageable.
She started out this morning with a glass of orange juice, diluted coffee, followed by white rice and a tangerine. A little later she drank a glass of milk and ate four crackers and some cheddar cheese slices. She also took one folic acid and one B-12 pill. After a sponge bath and a little freshening up she is feeling much better and is alert, talking and as ever making plans! She's determined that John get a puppy!
A new theory has arisen respecting her racing heartbeat and shortness of breath. When the oncologist tested her oxygen levels he determined that she was fully oxygenated. But what he didn't determine nor order a test for is her CO2 and other gas levels. She might have a gas ratio imbalance. Elevated CO2 in the bloodstream can also cause similar symptoms to oxygen deprivation. Anyhow, it is worth exploring I think.
I will post another update this evening.
Melissa
Friday 22 June 2007
Post #17: A Low Day
Hello Everyone,
Sorry to report that today has not been very good for her, from an emotional and physical standpoint. She really put her heart and soul into making John's art exhibition a reality. She so much wanted to be there and months ago had been planning all the things they would do together up in the Napa Valley, all the friends they would see, restaurants they would go to, etc. I guess, the reality of not being able to go after all that anticipation and preparation and to think that John is there alone without her and she is alone down here without him and with her illness, really hit her hard today.
Physically, she has minimal pain today which is a blessing, but the extreme shortness of breath and racing heartbeat are still there. Just rearranging her pillows brings on these symptoms. She got up earlier this afternoon and almost passed out. I have told her under no uncertain terms that if she gets up, I have to be there to assist her.
Foodwise, she did better today. She has had no nausea today and was able to eat toast with Swiss cheese this morning and iced tea, buttermilk and plain white rice this afternoon. I am also trying to get her to drink "power" and "nutrient" drinks in that she handles liquids better than solids. The only pain she is experiencing today is a band of aching side-to-side across her front lower ribcage area. This afternoon she took some morphine drops to help relieve that pain. Her back aches a bit, but that is from sitting and lying in bed so much.
I have been informed by one of her doctor friends that she could be experiencing a paralysis of her stomach and gastric system which sometimes happens with chemotherapy. Her symptoms certainly seem to indicate that: inability or decreased ability to empty out the stomach completely followed by nausea and vomiting. That would explain what happened to her yesterday.
Earlier this afternoon I went out to get her some hot rice from a local Thai restaurant as well as to stock up on some food items that she has expressed interest in: more orange juice, cornbread, fresh fruit and packaged white rice. While I was gone she was watching TV and reading magazines and her spirits at that time seemed to have picked up a bit. I also got her a new neck pillow and eyeshade which she put to immediate use. But afterward followed the "near passing out" episode. After that she went back to bed, I gave her the morphine drops, and she has been sleeping now since 5:00 p.m.
So, hopefully she will wake up feeling better both physically and emotionally. I have been expecting a return call from her oncologist this early evening, but so far no calls. Believe me, if I don't hear from him tonight, look out! Let me put it this way, I am appalled and dismayed by the medical system and service (oxymorons for sure) in this area, and from what I hear the whole of California isn't much better unless, of course, you can afford to buy your way in. Believe it or not, I get better health care in Spain where, as most of you know, I currently reside. I wish Mama was there!
Thanks again to all of your encouraging comments and emails. They really help her spirits.
Let's all hope for a better day tomorrow.
Melissa
Sorry to report that today has not been very good for her, from an emotional and physical standpoint. She really put her heart and soul into making John's art exhibition a reality. She so much wanted to be there and months ago had been planning all the things they would do together up in the Napa Valley, all the friends they would see, restaurants they would go to, etc. I guess, the reality of not being able to go after all that anticipation and preparation and to think that John is there alone without her and she is alone down here without him and with her illness, really hit her hard today.
Physically, she has minimal pain today which is a blessing, but the extreme shortness of breath and racing heartbeat are still there. Just rearranging her pillows brings on these symptoms. She got up earlier this afternoon and almost passed out. I have told her under no uncertain terms that if she gets up, I have to be there to assist her.
Foodwise, she did better today. She has had no nausea today and was able to eat toast with Swiss cheese this morning and iced tea, buttermilk and plain white rice this afternoon. I am also trying to get her to drink "power" and "nutrient" drinks in that she handles liquids better than solids. The only pain she is experiencing today is a band of aching side-to-side across her front lower ribcage area. This afternoon she took some morphine drops to help relieve that pain. Her back aches a bit, but that is from sitting and lying in bed so much.
I have been informed by one of her doctor friends that she could be experiencing a paralysis of her stomach and gastric system which sometimes happens with chemotherapy. Her symptoms certainly seem to indicate that: inability or decreased ability to empty out the stomach completely followed by nausea and vomiting. That would explain what happened to her yesterday.
Earlier this afternoon I went out to get her some hot rice from a local Thai restaurant as well as to stock up on some food items that she has expressed interest in: more orange juice, cornbread, fresh fruit and packaged white rice. While I was gone she was watching TV and reading magazines and her spirits at that time seemed to have picked up a bit. I also got her a new neck pillow and eyeshade which she put to immediate use. But afterward followed the "near passing out" episode. After that she went back to bed, I gave her the morphine drops, and she has been sleeping now since 5:00 p.m.
So, hopefully she will wake up feeling better both physically and emotionally. I have been expecting a return call from her oncologist this early evening, but so far no calls. Believe me, if I don't hear from him tonight, look out! Let me put it this way, I am appalled and dismayed by the medical system and service (oxymorons for sure) in this area, and from what I hear the whole of California isn't much better unless, of course, you can afford to buy your way in. Believe it or not, I get better health care in Spain where, as most of you know, I currently reside. I wish Mama was there!
Thanks again to all of your encouraging comments and emails. They really help her spirits.
Let's all hope for a better day tomorrow.
Melissa
Thursday 21 June 2007
Post #16: The Up/Down Rhythm Continues
Hello dear friends and family,
Today was decidedly mixed with pluses and minuses. First off, she was awake and alert early on and unbeknownst to me, while I was doing my morning ablutions, she walked into the kitchen. Unfortunately, that was too much effort and she returned to bed immediately. She was hungry though and managed to eat 1/2 cup of grits with butter substitute and a 1/2 piece of toast also with butter substitute.
However, the shortness of breath, dizziness, feeling like she is going to pass out have continued and occur upon very slight exertion. She also is experiencing a very gurgly, rumbling stomach accompanied by pain in the abdominal area. She took two aspirin around 11:30 this morning as she wants to see if she can take less of the morphine drops. I was then astounded by her asking for, and I prepared, 1/2 of a bacon, lettuce, tomato and fried egg sandwich on toast with a little mayo. She ate the whole thing except for a couple corners of the toast. This is the most she's eaten at one sitting in quite some time. She has also not had problems with constipation. This good news is tempered by the fact that when she eats, she feels as though it lands in or above her stomach but doesn't go any further. She is also having sensations of reflux from time to time.
Today Mother stayed in bed but was quite active. She is engaged in a "secret project" as a surprise for John. But I feel that the added activity may have tired her a bit too much. Unfortunately, around 3:30 p.m. she had one episode of nausea and vomiting, basically undoing the earlier apparent progress. In sum, she has probably tried to eat too much solid food too soon. So it's back to a liquid and soft food diet for the time being and no aspirin as it probably irritated her stomach too much. The chemo is not kind to the stomach lining, so for the time being, there will be no more aspirin for her. Around 5:00 p.m. she requested morphine drops, her first of the day. The pain she is experiencing today is a dull ache in her abdominal area, primarily on the right side and extending upward under the ribs on the right side.
Since 5:00, she slept a little, drank a little tea and tried a little chicken soup broth. On a cheerier note, we once again stayed up watching old movies. Like last night, we caught the end of the first movie, "My Favorite Wife" starring Irene Dunne and then watched the entire second movie "Too Many Husbands" starring Jean Arthur, Melvyn Douglas and Fred MacMurray. It was quite funny and Mother enjoyed it, although I do not think she was very comfortable. After the movie she felt hungry and ate three slices of pear with a little cottage cheese before going to sleep for the night.
I called the oncologist's office early today, but he won't be in until tomorrow. I left a few details about Anita's symptoms with his assistant who informed me that he will call me back most likely tomorrow evening after he has finished with his patients. The most distressing symptoms to Anita are the shortness of breath and inability to exert herself in any way. Hopefully, we will get some answers as to why she is experiencing these as well as some remedies for same.
Well, it's time for me to get some sleep as well. I didn't meet my goal of getting this posting out earlier tonight. It's looking like that may hold true for a few nights as Mother appears to be enjoying watching movies together.
Melissa
Today was decidedly mixed with pluses and minuses. First off, she was awake and alert early on and unbeknownst to me, while I was doing my morning ablutions, she walked into the kitchen. Unfortunately, that was too much effort and she returned to bed immediately. She was hungry though and managed to eat 1/2 cup of grits with butter substitute and a 1/2 piece of toast also with butter substitute.
However, the shortness of breath, dizziness, feeling like she is going to pass out have continued and occur upon very slight exertion. She also is experiencing a very gurgly, rumbling stomach accompanied by pain in the abdominal area. She took two aspirin around 11:30 this morning as she wants to see if she can take less of the morphine drops. I was then astounded by her asking for, and I prepared, 1/2 of a bacon, lettuce, tomato and fried egg sandwich on toast with a little mayo. She ate the whole thing except for a couple corners of the toast. This is the most she's eaten at one sitting in quite some time. She has also not had problems with constipation. This good news is tempered by the fact that when she eats, she feels as though it lands in or above her stomach but doesn't go any further. She is also having sensations of reflux from time to time.
Today Mother stayed in bed but was quite active. She is engaged in a "secret project" as a surprise for John. But I feel that the added activity may have tired her a bit too much. Unfortunately, around 3:30 p.m. she had one episode of nausea and vomiting, basically undoing the earlier apparent progress. In sum, she has probably tried to eat too much solid food too soon. So it's back to a liquid and soft food diet for the time being and no aspirin as it probably irritated her stomach too much. The chemo is not kind to the stomach lining, so for the time being, there will be no more aspirin for her. Around 5:00 p.m. she requested morphine drops, her first of the day. The pain she is experiencing today is a dull ache in her abdominal area, primarily on the right side and extending upward under the ribs on the right side.
Since 5:00, she slept a little, drank a little tea and tried a little chicken soup broth. On a cheerier note, we once again stayed up watching old movies. Like last night, we caught the end of the first movie, "My Favorite Wife" starring Irene Dunne and then watched the entire second movie "Too Many Husbands" starring Jean Arthur, Melvyn Douglas and Fred MacMurray. It was quite funny and Mother enjoyed it, although I do not think she was very comfortable. After the movie she felt hungry and ate three slices of pear with a little cottage cheese before going to sleep for the night.
I called the oncologist's office early today, but he won't be in until tomorrow. I left a few details about Anita's symptoms with his assistant who informed me that he will call me back most likely tomorrow evening after he has finished with his patients. The most distressing symptoms to Anita are the shortness of breath and inability to exert herself in any way. Hopefully, we will get some answers as to why she is experiencing these as well as some remedies for same.
Well, it's time for me to get some sleep as well. I didn't meet my goal of getting this posting out earlier tonight. It's looking like that may hold true for a few nights as Mother appears to be enjoying watching movies together.
Melissa
Wednesday 20 June 2007
Post #15: Not better, not worse
Hello everyone,
Sorry for the lateness of this posting, but it has been a long day and this has been my first opportunity. The day started out at 4:00 a.m. in order to get John to the airport on time. Anita woke up as well to give him a proper sendoff and off to the airport John and I went. He has safely arrived in Napa, as did his paintings which were shipped up separately, and he will be at the winery tomorrow hanging them in that wonderful space that the Mondavi winery has for exhibitions. He is back in his and Anita's old stomping grounds, seeing friends, and as Anita wished, getting recharged. We can hear it in his voice when he calls that he is relaxing and getting his spirits rejuvenated.
Meanwhile, Anita has remained about the same today as she was yesterday. For breakfast she drank a 1/2 glass of milk, ate 1/2 banana and topped it off later with some papaya and a glass of a new combo of diluted Ensure and skim milk. In the later afternoon she managed a bit of cottage cheese and pears. For dinner she had some chicken ramen soup (she usually drinks the broth and has very few noodles but tonight she had noodles.) Prior to the soup she asked to have a little beer (Coors Light) and a couple of potato chips! She has been drinking water, albeit in small doses, but fairly continuously all day.
She stayed in bed all day except for getting up to go get the doppler echogram of her heart. She is still experiencing the same dizziness and shortness of breath when she gets up. When we got to the parking lot of the doctor's offices, I was able to call up for a nurse to come down with a wheel chair, so she was wheeled in and out of the appointment. All went smoothly and quickly. The results will not be available for 10 to 14 days (here we go again)! However, they did say that should the reviewing doctor discover anything needing immediate attention they will notify us and Anita's regular doctors earlier than that and refer her for further examination.
She is still experiencing stomach pain, only it has shifted from her stomach area to her abdomen. She can only eat in small quantities as she feels it sort of stops at her stomach level and isn't going down any further. This morning she said that she feels as though if she tilted her head over, it would all come up.
She describes the dizziness as not so much feeling her head spinning around but feeling like the floor is spinning. She has had hiccups for the past two days but no coughing. She says that when she is standing and moving it feels like something is being drained out of her straight down the middle. Today, after getting home from the echogram, she went straight to bed and napped. Before going to sleep, she indicated that she had a new pain in her mid-chest area on the left hand side. At the time I asked her if she wanted to go to emergency and she said no. By evening this had subsided.
I placed a call today to the onocologist's office to get some answers as to what may be causing these particular symptoms. A person transfered me to the oncologist's medical assistant but all I got was her answering machine telling me she was on another call. So I left a message and phone number but nobody called me back. I called back later and at the getgo got an answering machine of one of the receptionist people. Rather than leave a message, I have decided to call back tomorrow morning.
After she woke up from her nap, she was talkative and alert. Her mind is clear and sharp. We caught the end of "Sylvia Scarlett" on one of the old movie channels and just finished watching the 1940 comedy film "Turnabout" about a half hour ago. Throughout the movie she was alert, making comments and laughing at the slapstick humor. She has now gone to sleep but not before asking for a nectarine. She keeps a piece of fruit by her bedside to take a bite of or to get the juices in order to get the chemo taste out of her mouth.
Her mood and attitude seem up. She is cutting back on some of her medication (e.g. the nausea medication and the morphine drops) a bit to see how she does. She has had no or minor nausea today. Tomorrow she wants to get up a bit more to see how she does (e.g. go sit in the living room) and to see if she can't start getting over this dizziness thing. I am watching her closely and insisting that she not exert herself too much. So given her determination - as you all know - I will have to be on my toes tomorrow to make sure she doesn't attempt too much! Patience is not Mama's most abundant virtue!
But I am very encouraged by her attitude. She is such a trooper! You really can't keep her down for long! I will try to get tomorrow's posting up a little earlier as I know how you all want to find out how she's doing every day. You all are wonderful! Thank you - it really makes her feel better to know so many persons care so much!
Melissa
Sorry for the lateness of this posting, but it has been a long day and this has been my first opportunity. The day started out at 4:00 a.m. in order to get John to the airport on time. Anita woke up as well to give him a proper sendoff and off to the airport John and I went. He has safely arrived in Napa, as did his paintings which were shipped up separately, and he will be at the winery tomorrow hanging them in that wonderful space that the Mondavi winery has for exhibitions. He is back in his and Anita's old stomping grounds, seeing friends, and as Anita wished, getting recharged. We can hear it in his voice when he calls that he is relaxing and getting his spirits rejuvenated.
Meanwhile, Anita has remained about the same today as she was yesterday. For breakfast she drank a 1/2 glass of milk, ate 1/2 banana and topped it off later with some papaya and a glass of a new combo of diluted Ensure and skim milk. In the later afternoon she managed a bit of cottage cheese and pears. For dinner she had some chicken ramen soup (she usually drinks the broth and has very few noodles but tonight she had noodles.) Prior to the soup she asked to have a little beer (Coors Light) and a couple of potato chips! She has been drinking water, albeit in small doses, but fairly continuously all day.
She stayed in bed all day except for getting up to go get the doppler echogram of her heart. She is still experiencing the same dizziness and shortness of breath when she gets up. When we got to the parking lot of the doctor's offices, I was able to call up for a nurse to come down with a wheel chair, so she was wheeled in and out of the appointment. All went smoothly and quickly. The results will not be available for 10 to 14 days (here we go again)! However, they did say that should the reviewing doctor discover anything needing immediate attention they will notify us and Anita's regular doctors earlier than that and refer her for further examination.
She is still experiencing stomach pain, only it has shifted from her stomach area to her abdomen. She can only eat in small quantities as she feels it sort of stops at her stomach level and isn't going down any further. This morning she said that she feels as though if she tilted her head over, it would all come up.
She describes the dizziness as not so much feeling her head spinning around but feeling like the floor is spinning. She has had hiccups for the past two days but no coughing. She says that when she is standing and moving it feels like something is being drained out of her straight down the middle. Today, after getting home from the echogram, she went straight to bed and napped. Before going to sleep, she indicated that she had a new pain in her mid-chest area on the left hand side. At the time I asked her if she wanted to go to emergency and she said no. By evening this had subsided.
I placed a call today to the onocologist's office to get some answers as to what may be causing these particular symptoms. A person transfered me to the oncologist's medical assistant but all I got was her answering machine telling me she was on another call. So I left a message and phone number but nobody called me back. I called back later and at the getgo got an answering machine of one of the receptionist people. Rather than leave a message, I have decided to call back tomorrow morning.
After she woke up from her nap, she was talkative and alert. Her mind is clear and sharp. We caught the end of "Sylvia Scarlett" on one of the old movie channels and just finished watching the 1940 comedy film "Turnabout" about a half hour ago. Throughout the movie she was alert, making comments and laughing at the slapstick humor. She has now gone to sleep but not before asking for a nectarine. She keeps a piece of fruit by her bedside to take a bite of or to get the juices in order to get the chemo taste out of her mouth.
Her mood and attitude seem up. She is cutting back on some of her medication (e.g. the nausea medication and the morphine drops) a bit to see how she does. She has had no or minor nausea today. Tomorrow she wants to get up a bit more to see how she does (e.g. go sit in the living room) and to see if she can't start getting over this dizziness thing. I am watching her closely and insisting that she not exert herself too much. So given her determination - as you all know - I will have to be on my toes tomorrow to make sure she doesn't attempt too much! Patience is not Mama's most abundant virtue!
But I am very encouraged by her attitude. She is such a trooper! You really can't keep her down for long! I will try to get tomorrow's posting up a little earlier as I know how you all want to find out how she's doing every day. You all are wonderful! Thank you - it really makes her feel better to know so many persons care so much!
Melissa
Tuesday 19 June 2007
Post #14: Not as Good a Day Today
Hello All,
It's been a long day and not her best day lately, but overall not the worst one either. Started out very early as Anita wanted to get in for her blood testing as soon as possible so that she could come back home and eat something. As you know, it is necessary to fast overnight before certain blood testing. Again, we had to get a wheel chair and roll her into the lab offices because she simply cannot walk very much before getting dizzy and totally out of breath. In any event, we made it into the lab offices with no problems and she had her blood drawn. Upon finishing, she announced that it was the most painless blood testing she had ever had done! So that's one bright spot.
The results of the blood testing will be sent to her oncologist who will be looking at them to see if there is some related problem that is causing her shortness of breath and dizziness. As one of Anita's doctor friends informed me today, the possibilities include (but are not limited to): an electrolyte imbalance; or possibly a diffuse inflammatory process in the lungs from tumor necrosis (in other words, the tumor masses are dying and white blood cells (macrophages) are moving in to gobble up the dead stuff resulting in inflammation in the lungs). So, at the moment, we are waiting for the results from the blood testing. Tomorrow Wed. June 20, Anita has the echo doppler exam of her heart. That is scheduled for 4:00 p.m.
Once home, she wanted to eat breakfast with us but elected to remain seated on the sofa rather than come over to the dining table. She started with two (count 'em) glasses of milk and went on to eat a bite or two of scrambled eggs, a piece of bacon and one piece of toast with a little butter. However, she has not eaten much at all this afternoon, only managing to eat some papaya which she really loves. She has rested in bed and napped most of the afternoon and is doing so at the moment.
She has not experienced any nausea today, but has had pain in her stomach area. This may explain why she didn't eat much today. This pain may be due to the chemo working. As the onocologist mentioned yesterday, many of her new pains are attributable to the chemo drugs working. In any event, it is disheartening that her appetite is not as good today as it was yesterday. However, when she is awake, she is alert and talkative. She has been really trying to drink lots of water today as she realizes how important it is to flush all that stuff out of her system. She took morphine drops earlier today and will do so again before she goes to bed for the night. She also has continued to take her nausea medication to stay ahead of any onset.
I am taking John to the airport tomorrow morning for his flight to San Francisco where he will be renting a car and driving up to the Napa Valley in preparation for his art exhibition at the Robert Mondavi Winery which opens on June 24 (and runs through to September, I believe). I will be staying with Mother while John is gone. He will return home the evening of Monday June 25th. In the interim, I will be working on compiling a chronological notebook of Anita's medical papers; a daily diary recording her general condition and symptoms, all medications taken at what time and what dosage, any doctor's appointments or other related appointments, what and how much food and beverages consumed; and a typed-up list of all of her medications.
I have been working to make things more comfortable for her, and John, around the house, by getting various sundries, bath supplies, hair towels, organizer trays and baskets for her personal things by her bedside and in her bath, cleaning products for the cleaning lady, nutrient fruit shakes and food products that I think may tempt her like herb teas, etc.
Today, acting on a great suggestion by my cousin, I purchased a voice-activated wireless intercom with four stations. It will allow Anita to call us (without having to yell or to phone us on her cell phone, which she has been doing when we are out of earshot) as well as function as a "baby monitor" and allow us to constantly monitor her condition while she is sleeping. The fact that it has a "voice activation" feature is wonderful. That means that we can set it so that all she has to do is speak and we will hear her. She won't have to punch any buttons. We will place one unit in her room, one in John's room, one in his studio (where I am currently sleeping), and one in the kitchen-dining-living room area which can be carried outside on the patio or into the yard. Mother was pleased with this idea so I will set it up tomorrow. It is also a relief to John and me. Mother expressed frustration the other day when both John and I were on the phone and she couldn't get in touch with either of us. So this is a great remedy.
Anyhow, it is disappointing - and very disheartening to John - that Anita is apparently having a "down day" for the most part today. But it seems that this ebb and flow of up-days and down-days may be typical in chemo-therapy patients. If she is not improved by tomorrow, I will call the oncologist as soon as possible. The most important thing now is to discover the cause of the dizziness and shortness of breath and get that taken care of.
Melissa
It's been a long day and not her best day lately, but overall not the worst one either. Started out very early as Anita wanted to get in for her blood testing as soon as possible so that she could come back home and eat something. As you know, it is necessary to fast overnight before certain blood testing. Again, we had to get a wheel chair and roll her into the lab offices because she simply cannot walk very much before getting dizzy and totally out of breath. In any event, we made it into the lab offices with no problems and she had her blood drawn. Upon finishing, she announced that it was the most painless blood testing she had ever had done! So that's one bright spot.
The results of the blood testing will be sent to her oncologist who will be looking at them to see if there is some related problem that is causing her shortness of breath and dizziness. As one of Anita's doctor friends informed me today, the possibilities include (but are not limited to): an electrolyte imbalance; or possibly a diffuse inflammatory process in the lungs from tumor necrosis (in other words, the tumor masses are dying and white blood cells (macrophages) are moving in to gobble up the dead stuff resulting in inflammation in the lungs). So, at the moment, we are waiting for the results from the blood testing. Tomorrow Wed. June 20, Anita has the echo doppler exam of her heart. That is scheduled for 4:00 p.m.
Once home, she wanted to eat breakfast with us but elected to remain seated on the sofa rather than come over to the dining table. She started with two (count 'em) glasses of milk and went on to eat a bite or two of scrambled eggs, a piece of bacon and one piece of toast with a little butter. However, she has not eaten much at all this afternoon, only managing to eat some papaya which she really loves. She has rested in bed and napped most of the afternoon and is doing so at the moment.
She has not experienced any nausea today, but has had pain in her stomach area. This may explain why she didn't eat much today. This pain may be due to the chemo working. As the onocologist mentioned yesterday, many of her new pains are attributable to the chemo drugs working. In any event, it is disheartening that her appetite is not as good today as it was yesterday. However, when she is awake, she is alert and talkative. She has been really trying to drink lots of water today as she realizes how important it is to flush all that stuff out of her system. She took morphine drops earlier today and will do so again before she goes to bed for the night. She also has continued to take her nausea medication to stay ahead of any onset.
I am taking John to the airport tomorrow morning for his flight to San Francisco where he will be renting a car and driving up to the Napa Valley in preparation for his art exhibition at the Robert Mondavi Winery which opens on June 24 (and runs through to September, I believe). I will be staying with Mother while John is gone. He will return home the evening of Monday June 25th. In the interim, I will be working on compiling a chronological notebook of Anita's medical papers; a daily diary recording her general condition and symptoms, all medications taken at what time and what dosage, any doctor's appointments or other related appointments, what and how much food and beverages consumed; and a typed-up list of all of her medications.
I have been working to make things more comfortable for her, and John, around the house, by getting various sundries, bath supplies, hair towels, organizer trays and baskets for her personal things by her bedside and in her bath, cleaning products for the cleaning lady, nutrient fruit shakes and food products that I think may tempt her like herb teas, etc.
Today, acting on a great suggestion by my cousin, I purchased a voice-activated wireless intercom with four stations. It will allow Anita to call us (without having to yell or to phone us on her cell phone, which she has been doing when we are out of earshot) as well as function as a "baby monitor" and allow us to constantly monitor her condition while she is sleeping. The fact that it has a "voice activation" feature is wonderful. That means that we can set it so that all she has to do is speak and we will hear her. She won't have to punch any buttons. We will place one unit in her room, one in John's room, one in his studio (where I am currently sleeping), and one in the kitchen-dining-living room area which can be carried outside on the patio or into the yard. Mother was pleased with this idea so I will set it up tomorrow. It is also a relief to John and me. Mother expressed frustration the other day when both John and I were on the phone and she couldn't get in touch with either of us. So this is a great remedy.
Anyhow, it is disappointing - and very disheartening to John - that Anita is apparently having a "down day" for the most part today. But it seems that this ebb and flow of up-days and down-days may be typical in chemo-therapy patients. If she is not improved by tomorrow, I will call the oncologist as soon as possible. The most important thing now is to discover the cause of the dizziness and shortness of breath and get that taken care of.
Melissa
Monday 18 June 2007
Post #13: Thirteen Is NOT An Unlucky Number
Hello Everyone,
Anita had her CT angio chest cat scan around 2:15 this afternoon. All went smoothly and we brought her straight home to rest. The oncologist just called her about 15 minutes ago with the scan results: No blood clots and nothing new that could be causing this shortness of breath. In fact, the scan showed that one of her tumors in the chest area has actually shrunk in size!!!! The chemo is working. Breathe one big sigh of relief!
As to what is causing the shortness of breath, the oncologist thinks that it might be blood related. So tomorrow she is going in for blood testing. She was scheduled to have blood testing this week anyway, so it's working out well. At the moment she is propped up happily on the living room sofa (she has declared that she needs a change of scenery from the bedroom). While I was on the phone with one of her dear friends who called, she was (unbeknownst to me) putting two eggs on to hard boil on the stove and getting all settled on the sofa to read the paper. Again, while I was out of the room, she got up, drank a glass of milk, got her eggs and served herself and went back to the sofa to eat them. When I got there, she requested a sip of white wine to go with it all. Well . . . that's Anita!
John arrived home from the grocery store (Mom actually put in an order for for him to get her some Coors Light) and delivered the day's mail which Anita promptly opened and read. In addition, John brought home the most delicious fried chicken and Mama ate a piece! Said it was just like authentic SOUTHERN fried chicken, and if anyone knows good southern fried chicken, it's Anita. It is such a relief and joy to see her eating normal food again. She looks and is acting very alert and much more cheerful than she was earlier today. She is still experiencing dizziness and shortness of breath if she makes any exertions, so she is taking it easy and staying on the couch, and after our gentle reprimands, accepting that we are happy to "wait on her."
Today we have gone from gloom and foreboding to unease and faint hope and finally to relief and further hope. As I finish this posting, she and John are in the living room watching Oberman and she is doing her crosswords. Her oncologist has been instrumental in seeing her - and us - through this emotional and factual transition today. He was adamant in insisting that no major decisions be made by her until she is feeling better and it appeared to me that he was confident that she will be better. He has insisted that she call him immediately if anything goes on or anything happens - anything!
So, we will be off for the blood testing tomorrow, which results will be sent to the oncologist. I will update this site as to those results as soon as we hear. Thanks so much to all who have sent their comments on this website, cards and letters, flowers and phone calls, not to mention all the healing thoughts and wishes. She reads, sees, and/or hears read all of them. I truly believe that they are instrumental in buoying her spirits and helping her in this fight. Thank you from my heart.
Melissa
Anita had her CT angio chest cat scan around 2:15 this afternoon. All went smoothly and we brought her straight home to rest. The oncologist just called her about 15 minutes ago with the scan results: No blood clots and nothing new that could be causing this shortness of breath. In fact, the scan showed that one of her tumors in the chest area has actually shrunk in size!!!! The chemo is working. Breathe one big sigh of relief!
As to what is causing the shortness of breath, the oncologist thinks that it might be blood related. So tomorrow she is going in for blood testing. She was scheduled to have blood testing this week anyway, so it's working out well. At the moment she is propped up happily on the living room sofa (she has declared that she needs a change of scenery from the bedroom). While I was on the phone with one of her dear friends who called, she was (unbeknownst to me) putting two eggs on to hard boil on the stove and getting all settled on the sofa to read the paper. Again, while I was out of the room, she got up, drank a glass of milk, got her eggs and served herself and went back to the sofa to eat them. When I got there, she requested a sip of white wine to go with it all. Well . . . that's Anita!
John arrived home from the grocery store (Mom actually put in an order for for him to get her some Coors Light) and delivered the day's mail which Anita promptly opened and read. In addition, John brought home the most delicious fried chicken and Mama ate a piece! Said it was just like authentic SOUTHERN fried chicken, and if anyone knows good southern fried chicken, it's Anita. It is such a relief and joy to see her eating normal food again. She looks and is acting very alert and much more cheerful than she was earlier today. She is still experiencing dizziness and shortness of breath if she makes any exertions, so she is taking it easy and staying on the couch, and after our gentle reprimands, accepting that we are happy to "wait on her."
Today we have gone from gloom and foreboding to unease and faint hope and finally to relief and further hope. As I finish this posting, she and John are in the living room watching Oberman and she is doing her crosswords. Her oncologist has been instrumental in seeing her - and us - through this emotional and factual transition today. He was adamant in insisting that no major decisions be made by her until she is feeling better and it appeared to me that he was confident that she will be better. He has insisted that she call him immediately if anything goes on or anything happens - anything!
So, we will be off for the blood testing tomorrow, which results will be sent to the oncologist. I will update this site as to those results as soon as we hear. Thanks so much to all who have sent their comments on this website, cards and letters, flowers and phone calls, not to mention all the healing thoughts and wishes. She reads, sees, and/or hears read all of them. I truly believe that they are instrumental in buoying her spirits and helping her in this fight. Thank you from my heart.
Melissa
Post #12: Not a good start today
Dear All,
A quick note before we dash out the door again. Anita did not have the energy to get out of bed this morning. She got up reluctantly to go to her 10:00 a.m. oncologist appointment. We arrived at the doctor's offices, she got out of the car to walk to the waiting room and almost passed out. She was so short of breath that she had to sit down abruptly on the concrete stairs outside the office door. John went in to get her a wheel chair while I gave her a wet cold cloth to rub her face with and some water. She was wheeled into the doctor's office in the wheel chair.
The doctor examined her with a stethoscope, had her blood pressure and temperature taken and checked her oxygen levels. All are fine and normal. He had her stand up and walk for him, which she did reluctantly, in order to assess her breathing and lung condition. He has referred her for an emergency CT angio chest scan. They were able to schedule her in for an emergency appointment at 2:00 p.m. this afternoon. We are supposed to arrive at 1:30 p.m. to fill out the registration paperwork, etc.
The oncologist stated that frequently cancer patients develop thickened blood and consequently may develop blood clots in the lungs. The doctor stated that Anita's previous lung cat scan, done several weeks ago, showed she has tumors in her lungs. It is possible that she has now developed blood clots and the CT angio chest scan today is to determine what going on in her lungs. As soon as the scan is completed, they are supposed to send the results ASAP to the oncologist. The oncologist has not yet discussed with us what will happen next if they discover blood clots.
As you may imagine, Anita is feeling very down about all of this. We are trying to buoy her spirits as much as possible. As you know, she absolutely refused a lung biopsy this time around as her experience ten years ago is something (her word was "torture") that she never wants to go through again. I have no idea what the "cure" is for blood clots in the lungs, but if that is indeed what she has, let us hope against hope that surgery will not be the suggested remedy.
The oncologist also said that this shortness of breath, and even her nausea that she experienced two days and following after her first treatment, is not normal. The new pain in some of her bones (armbone, jawbone, etc.) is normal after a chemo treatment. However, it is a very positive sign that her appetite has returned, relatively speaking, and that she can eat and hold down solid food.
We have to go. I will post more info later.
Melissa
A quick note before we dash out the door again. Anita did not have the energy to get out of bed this morning. She got up reluctantly to go to her 10:00 a.m. oncologist appointment. We arrived at the doctor's offices, she got out of the car to walk to the waiting room and almost passed out. She was so short of breath that she had to sit down abruptly on the concrete stairs outside the office door. John went in to get her a wheel chair while I gave her a wet cold cloth to rub her face with and some water. She was wheeled into the doctor's office in the wheel chair.
The doctor examined her with a stethoscope, had her blood pressure and temperature taken and checked her oxygen levels. All are fine and normal. He had her stand up and walk for him, which she did reluctantly, in order to assess her breathing and lung condition. He has referred her for an emergency CT angio chest scan. They were able to schedule her in for an emergency appointment at 2:00 p.m. this afternoon. We are supposed to arrive at 1:30 p.m. to fill out the registration paperwork, etc.
The oncologist stated that frequently cancer patients develop thickened blood and consequently may develop blood clots in the lungs. The doctor stated that Anita's previous lung cat scan, done several weeks ago, showed she has tumors in her lungs. It is possible that she has now developed blood clots and the CT angio chest scan today is to determine what going on in her lungs. As soon as the scan is completed, they are supposed to send the results ASAP to the oncologist. The oncologist has not yet discussed with us what will happen next if they discover blood clots.
As you may imagine, Anita is feeling very down about all of this. We are trying to buoy her spirits as much as possible. As you know, she absolutely refused a lung biopsy this time around as her experience ten years ago is something (her word was "torture") that she never wants to go through again. I have no idea what the "cure" is for blood clots in the lungs, but if that is indeed what she has, let us hope against hope that surgery will not be the suggested remedy.
The oncologist also said that this shortness of breath, and even her nausea that she experienced two days and following after her first treatment, is not normal. The new pain in some of her bones (armbone, jawbone, etc.) is normal after a chemo treatment. However, it is a very positive sign that her appetite has returned, relatively speaking, and that she can eat and hold down solid food.
We have to go. I will post more info later.
Melissa
Sunday 17 June 2007
Post #11: P.S. to Amazing Father's Day
Mother slept all afternoon, waking up around 7:00 p.m. A much needed sleep as apparently last night she didn't sleep well. However, that was due to her napping too much yesterday. So we shall see how she does tonight. For dinner, she ate five small slices of fresh papaya followed by a couple of small rack of lamb chops along with applesauce and a sip of red wine. She was really relishing the lamb chops. She later had a tiny piece of pepperoni and cheese pizza as a TV snack. She got up to wash her hair and we all watched television together ("Murder She Wrote" and "Perry Mason") . So far, no ill effects on her digestive tract.
She did request morphine drops while we were watching TV and right before bedtime a replacement of her morphine patch, so the pain is still there. However, due to regular taking of her nausea medication, she is experiencing little if any nausea which is a great relief for her. As mentioned in previous posts, she has an oncologist appointment tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. This will be a pivotal session. I will post an update as soon as I can tomorrow after her appointment.
She did request morphine drops while we were watching TV and right before bedtime a replacement of her morphine patch, so the pain is still there. However, due to regular taking of her nausea medication, she is experiencing little if any nausea which is a great relief for her. As mentioned in previous posts, she has an oncologist appointment tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. This will be a pivotal session. I will post an update as soon as I can tomorrow after her appointment.
Post #10: Amazing Father's Day!
Dear Everyone,
You would not have believed it, but then again, knowing Anita, I think you would! When John and I got up this morning, Mother had already been up for an hour and a half, was fully and beautifully dressed in a lovely lavender/purple shift and jacket, had her makeup and jewelry on, and looked absolutely lovely. She did it for John for Father's Day.
The effort it must have taken her tears at your heart. She said she had to stop for breath and rest every few minutes because her heart was racing so. But this was something she wanted to do, and willed herself to do, and she did it spectacularly. I can't think of a more loving and giving present - for any occasion. She stayed sitting up in the living room while he opened presents and we toasted with Mimosas. Following that she ate breakfast with us (eating a little bit of scrambled eggs, a strip of bacon, and some toast with a little bit of butter) and topped the whole thing off by playing a little bit of piano! "When the Saints Go Marching In." I managed to capture it on my digital camera recording feature. One of those moments that will never be forgotten. John and I also took several photographs.
But as they say, that's not all, folks! She continues to plan renovations to the house. She has completed yet another color dimensional drawing of the "bedroom plan" and is now working on her and John's plan for French doors leading out of the living room into the yard. She has always loved to develop plans for renovation and remodeling of the homes that she and John have lived in over the years and this newest house is no exception! In that respect, amongst others, she and John are truly artists.
Finally, after all that, she was tired out as you can imagine and has been napping the rest of the afternoon. Her accelerated heart rate and shortness of breath when she makes any exertion has not diminished since yesterday, and is still very worrisome. However, her appetite and ability to eat have remained steady and the nausea is under control. She said today that she has been craving protein. So her body is telling her what she needs, and fortunately she is able to ingest it at the moment. Tomorrow she has an appointment with the oncologist who will be evaluating her progress and to whom all three of us have many questions to pose.
Wishing you all a healthy and happy Father's Day,
Melissa
You would not have believed it, but then again, knowing Anita, I think you would! When John and I got up this morning, Mother had already been up for an hour and a half, was fully and beautifully dressed in a lovely lavender/purple shift and jacket, had her makeup and jewelry on, and looked absolutely lovely. She did it for John for Father's Day.
The effort it must have taken her tears at your heart. She said she had to stop for breath and rest every few minutes because her heart was racing so. But this was something she wanted to do, and willed herself to do, and she did it spectacularly. I can't think of a more loving and giving present - for any occasion. She stayed sitting up in the living room while he opened presents and we toasted with Mimosas. Following that she ate breakfast with us (eating a little bit of scrambled eggs, a strip of bacon, and some toast with a little bit of butter) and topped the whole thing off by playing a little bit of piano! "When the Saints Go Marching In." I managed to capture it on my digital camera recording feature. One of those moments that will never be forgotten. John and I also took several photographs.
But as they say, that's not all, folks! She continues to plan renovations to the house. She has completed yet another color dimensional drawing of the "bedroom plan" and is now working on her and John's plan for French doors leading out of the living room into the yard. She has always loved to develop plans for renovation and remodeling of the homes that she and John have lived in over the years and this newest house is no exception! In that respect, amongst others, she and John are truly artists.
Finally, after all that, she was tired out as you can imagine and has been napping the rest of the afternoon. Her accelerated heart rate and shortness of breath when she makes any exertion has not diminished since yesterday, and is still very worrisome. However, her appetite and ability to eat have remained steady and the nausea is under control. She said today that she has been craving protein. So her body is telling her what she needs, and fortunately she is able to ingest it at the moment. Tomorrow she has an appointment with the oncologist who will be evaluating her progress and to whom all three of us have many questions to pose.
Wishing you all a healthy and happy Father's Day,
Melissa
Saturday 16 June 2007
Post #9: More and better "mixed day"
Just tucked Mother into bed listening to Mozart (on a sleep timer). After sleeping all afternoon she awoke around 7:00 p.m. alert and lively. She has the nausea under control as she takes her nausea medication at regular intervals. Unfortunately, her heart is still racing every time she gets up, but she has eaten more today than she has in quite a while. That is so encouraging.
Apparently when she woke up at 7:00 she had been dreaming of - of all things - a cheese sandwich! So John whipped her up a cold cheese and mayo sandwich (without crust) and she ate 3/4 of it. Her goodnight nightcap was some morphine drops but also a little bit of whole milk (to kill the taste of the drops). She asked for the drops, not so much because she is in pain at the moment, but because she wants to be ahead of the next onset of pain.
It is now 11:50 p.m. From waking up until five minutes ago she has been lucid and talkative. Although the heart pounding is very worrisome, her awakeness and communicativeness is inspiring. Let's hope this continues or improves tomorrow.
Apparently when she woke up at 7:00 she had been dreaming of - of all things - a cheese sandwich! So John whipped her up a cold cheese and mayo sandwich (without crust) and she ate 3/4 of it. Her goodnight nightcap was some morphine drops but also a little bit of whole milk (to kill the taste of the drops). She asked for the drops, not so much because she is in pain at the moment, but because she wants to be ahead of the next onset of pain.
It is now 11:50 p.m. From waking up until five minutes ago she has been lucid and talkative. Although the heart pounding is very worrisome, her awakeness and communicativeness is inspiring. Let's hope this continues or improves tomorrow.
Post #8: Mixed Day
Hello all,
Today seemed to start out well. She was nauseous but there were no episodes of vomiting. She apparently has continued to have some jaw/facial bone and armbone pain. John applied one of her morphine patches. But then she told us that earlier, before we were up, she had got up to go to the bathroom, and felt like she was going to pass out because she couldn't catch her breath and her heart was beating excessively rapidly. By the time we talked with her that had subsided. All morning she has been very alert and talkative. The most wonderful thing was that she decided to redesign the bedroom she is currently in (e.g. moving the furniture around or out, putting in a built-in desk and bookshelves) and she actually sat up for the longest time drawing a dimensional sketch - in color - of what she wants the built-ins to look like.
Following that, she got out of bed and walked into the living room to sit and chat briefly. And astonishingly she walked to and sat down at the dining table and told John she wanted rack of lamb! He had purchased some heat-it-up rack of lamb and she ate two small chops. This is the first solid protein food, certainly meat, that she has eaten in weeks. Her other recent food addition has been fresh papaya which thank goodness Jensen's market is carrying and which she is tolerating very well. So far she has kept the lamb down.
The bad news is the effort it took her to get out of bed and walk into the living room, to the dining table, and then back to bed. Again she had to stop and rest frequently in that she couldn't catch her breath and her heart was beating excessively rapidly. This greatly affected her mood this afternoon and spun her into a gloomy and upset mode. However, she has recovered from that, is now back in bed, listening to classical music, and resting. However, just a few minutes ago John has informed me that she has requested her morphine drops and is experiencing again the back and abdominal pains that had previously subsided in the past couple of days.
So it is more of an up and down day day than yesterday was. This shortness of breath and rapid heart beat are very unnerving and we are going to insist that she remain in bed as much as possible. I will keep you posted on further developments this evening. We are watching her closely.
Melissa
Today seemed to start out well. She was nauseous but there were no episodes of vomiting. She apparently has continued to have some jaw/facial bone and armbone pain. John applied one of her morphine patches. But then she told us that earlier, before we were up, she had got up to go to the bathroom, and felt like she was going to pass out because she couldn't catch her breath and her heart was beating excessively rapidly. By the time we talked with her that had subsided. All morning she has been very alert and talkative. The most wonderful thing was that she decided to redesign the bedroom she is currently in (e.g. moving the furniture around or out, putting in a built-in desk and bookshelves) and she actually sat up for the longest time drawing a dimensional sketch - in color - of what she wants the built-ins to look like.
Following that, she got out of bed and walked into the living room to sit and chat briefly. And astonishingly she walked to and sat down at the dining table and told John she wanted rack of lamb! He had purchased some heat-it-up rack of lamb and she ate two small chops. This is the first solid protein food, certainly meat, that she has eaten in weeks. Her other recent food addition has been fresh papaya which thank goodness Jensen's market is carrying and which she is tolerating very well. So far she has kept the lamb down.
The bad news is the effort it took her to get out of bed and walk into the living room, to the dining table, and then back to bed. Again she had to stop and rest frequently in that she couldn't catch her breath and her heart was beating excessively rapidly. This greatly affected her mood this afternoon and spun her into a gloomy and upset mode. However, she has recovered from that, is now back in bed, listening to classical music, and resting. However, just a few minutes ago John has informed me that she has requested her morphine drops and is experiencing again the back and abdominal pains that had previously subsided in the past couple of days.
So it is more of an up and down day day than yesterday was. This shortness of breath and rapid heart beat are very unnerving and we are going to insist that she remain in bed as much as possible. I will keep you posted on further developments this evening. We are watching her closely.
Melissa
Friday 15 June 2007
Post #7: Encouraging Day!
Hello Anita Fans,
Today has been, relatively speaking, a gold star day. She has been very nauseous, but as long as she stays still and doesn't move too suddenly or quickly, it stays under control. The previous unbelievable pain that she had been experiencing in her abdominal and chest area for the past two months has blessedly subsided. The chemo is working! She had one shooting pain today from her abdomen up to her chest. But that was brief and only happend once. Her major discomfort is the nausea. But that is not unusual at this stage after the chemo treatment.
She has managed to eat a bit more today: applesauce, cottage cheese, chicken soup (even some noodles) and lemon sorbet. Unfortunately, this afternoon she moved about too quickly and had a major session of vomiting. But, both before and after this "session" she had visitors. She was upbeat and chatting and talking about real estate and other matters with astonishing energy, clarity of voice, and . . . well you all know Anita!
As I type she is sitting up, alert and watching television. She is "engineering" (as only Mama can do) additional guests for John's show at the Mondavi Winery. Her vocal quality is clear and alert. This activity does tire her out and she will probably soon go back to sleep, but it is so encouraging to see her as "Action Anita" even if it is in a subdued form. She stated today that "I am going to lick this!" and I thoroughly believe her. If anyone can kick this, it's Mother!
We are aware that she is not getting enough nutrition. We will be seeing her oncologist on Monday and I will be bringing up the subjects with him of referral to a nutritionist and possible physical intervention (i.e. intravenous feeding or feeding tube) in order to get nutrition into her and to get her physical stamina increased in preparation for the administration of the next round of chemo-therapy. Meanwhile, John and I are plying her with all sorts of different combinations of liquids and solids.
Thank you everyone!
Melissa
P.S. It is now 7:35 p.m. and she is sleeping. She realized she had been a bit overactive and she is staying quiet now. She will probably sleep on and off until tomorrow.
Today has been, relatively speaking, a gold star day. She has been very nauseous, but as long as she stays still and doesn't move too suddenly or quickly, it stays under control. The previous unbelievable pain that she had been experiencing in her abdominal and chest area for the past two months has blessedly subsided. The chemo is working! She had one shooting pain today from her abdomen up to her chest. But that was brief and only happend once. Her major discomfort is the nausea. But that is not unusual at this stage after the chemo treatment.
She has managed to eat a bit more today: applesauce, cottage cheese, chicken soup (even some noodles) and lemon sorbet. Unfortunately, this afternoon she moved about too quickly and had a major session of vomiting. But, both before and after this "session" she had visitors. She was upbeat and chatting and talking about real estate and other matters with astonishing energy, clarity of voice, and . . . well you all know Anita!
As I type she is sitting up, alert and watching television. She is "engineering" (as only Mama can do) additional guests for John's show at the Mondavi Winery. Her vocal quality is clear and alert. This activity does tire her out and she will probably soon go back to sleep, but it is so encouraging to see her as "Action Anita" even if it is in a subdued form. She stated today that "I am going to lick this!" and I thoroughly believe her. If anyone can kick this, it's Mother!
We are aware that she is not getting enough nutrition. We will be seeing her oncologist on Monday and I will be bringing up the subjects with him of referral to a nutritionist and possible physical intervention (i.e. intravenous feeding or feeding tube) in order to get nutrition into her and to get her physical stamina increased in preparation for the administration of the next round of chemo-therapy. Meanwhile, John and I are plying her with all sorts of different combinations of liquids and solids.
Thank you everyone!
Melissa
P.S. It is now 7:35 p.m. and she is sleeping. She realized she had been a bit overactive and she is staying quiet now. She will probably sleep on and off until tomorrow.
Thursday 14 June 2007
Post #6: Not as good
Dear All,
Last night and today, Anita has not been doing as well. However, much of this is expected in that it is apparently a normal reaction to chemo-therapy in the first couple of days following a treatment.
Specifically, she felt nauseated all night long but managed not to throw up. This morning she was feeling very nauseated accompanied by lower abdominal pain. She stated that "I just can't get comfortable." Fortunately, she does not have a fever. She did eat some oatmeal this morning but later had an episode of vomiting. She is now resting/sleeping. The most important thing is that she stay comfortable, pain free, and hydrated. We are in contact with the doctors today respecting changing her nausea medication and we will be requesting - no, demanding - a referral from her oncologist to a pain management specialist. It is astounding that they have not referred her to one before.
We have made an appointment for her to see the oncologist this coming Monday June 18 at 10:00 a.m. The purpose of the visit is for him to evaluate how she is tolerating the chemo treatment. We are also making an appointment for her for June 20 to get the doppler-echogram of her heart.
Meanwhile, the flowers, comments on the blogsite, and other well-wishes, thoughts and prayers keep pouring in. Thank you all so very much. It makes Mother feel less alone and strengthened in her daily and valiant fight!
With thanks to all,
Melissa
Last night and today, Anita has not been doing as well. However, much of this is expected in that it is apparently a normal reaction to chemo-therapy in the first couple of days following a treatment.
Specifically, she felt nauseated all night long but managed not to throw up. This morning she was feeling very nauseated accompanied by lower abdominal pain. She stated that "I just can't get comfortable." Fortunately, she does not have a fever. She did eat some oatmeal this morning but later had an episode of vomiting. She is now resting/sleeping. The most important thing is that she stay comfortable, pain free, and hydrated. We are in contact with the doctors today respecting changing her nausea medication and we will be requesting - no, demanding - a referral from her oncologist to a pain management specialist. It is astounding that they have not referred her to one before.
We have made an appointment for her to see the oncologist this coming Monday June 18 at 10:00 a.m. The purpose of the visit is for him to evaluate how she is tolerating the chemo treatment. We are also making an appointment for her for June 20 to get the doppler-echogram of her heart.
Meanwhile, the flowers, comments on the blogsite, and other well-wishes, thoughts and prayers keep pouring in. Thank you all so very much. It makes Mother feel less alone and strengthened in her daily and valiant fight!
With thanks to all,
Melissa
Wednesday 13 June 2007
Post #5: To be a blogger . . .
Dear Everyone,
This blogsite is the first time I have ever done a blog, so I am learning as I go. I have now realized that some of you may have wanted to leave comments but couldn't without "setting up an account." I apologize for that. I was unfamiliar with the settings function.
So, I have now reset the blogsite so that everyone should be able to leave a comment should you desire to do so without having to set up an account. You can now post a comment to any of the four prior postings (or this one). Just go to the bottom of the posting and click on the link that contains the word "comment." (There will be a number in front of the word "comment" indicating how many comments have already been made, but go ahead and click on it and it will take you to the page where you can post your own comment.)
Also, in the interests of Anita's privacy, I will soon change the settings so that this site is "password protected" meaning that only those people who are given the blog web address and who key in a password (that I will send to you) will be able to read the site.
Thanks for your understanding.
Best,
Melissa
This blogsite is the first time I have ever done a blog, so I am learning as I go. I have now realized that some of you may have wanted to leave comments but couldn't without "setting up an account." I apologize for that. I was unfamiliar with the settings function.
So, I have now reset the blogsite so that everyone should be able to leave a comment should you desire to do so without having to set up an account. You can now post a comment to any of the four prior postings (or this one). Just go to the bottom of the posting and click on the link that contains the word "comment." (There will be a number in front of the word "comment" indicating how many comments have already been made, but go ahead and click on it and it will take you to the page where you can post your own comment.)
Also, in the interests of Anita's privacy, I will soon change the settings so that this site is "password protected" meaning that only those people who are given the blog web address and who key in a password (that I will send to you) will be able to read the site.
Thanks for your understanding.
Best,
Melissa
Post #4: Day After Chemo Going Well
Hello everyone!
Last night Anita was more her normal self than we have seen in the past couple of weeks. She was alert and talkative, even laughing and making a joke or two. She had occasional feelings of nausea, but these were kept under control by punctual taking of anti-nausea medication.
We are experimenting with making nutritional shakes for her consisting of various formulations of protein powder, veggie powder, immuno-booster, etc. Last night we tried the first blend on her and received a definite "No way!" Didn't pass the taste test. She does know what she likes! So back to the drawing board - or should I say blending board! Today we hope to be more successful.
In general, she is taking "doctor's orders" well. She is supposed to drink at least two liters of water a day and she is making every effort to do so. She has also consumed a bit more solid food today.
This morning and early afternoon she was similarly alert as she was last night but got tired easily and is now sleeping. She is also feeling more nausea this afternoon and a few other discomforts. But all in all, her spirits are good. She feels that she has gotten a reprieve. The oncologist did tell her that he has saved the most potent and dangerous drug for later - most likely her next treatment. He wants to make sure that she has tolerated her first treatment well and gains some strength before he administers it. Again, she will be seeing him this coming Monday.
Thanks so much to those who have posted comments. I print them out and either give them to Mother or read them to her. She is very cheered by them.
My best wishes to all,
Melissa
Last night Anita was more her normal self than we have seen in the past couple of weeks. She was alert and talkative, even laughing and making a joke or two. She had occasional feelings of nausea, but these were kept under control by punctual taking of anti-nausea medication.
We are experimenting with making nutritional shakes for her consisting of various formulations of protein powder, veggie powder, immuno-booster, etc. Last night we tried the first blend on her and received a definite "No way!" Didn't pass the taste test. She does know what she likes! So back to the drawing board - or should I say blending board! Today we hope to be more successful.
In general, she is taking "doctor's orders" well. She is supposed to drink at least two liters of water a day and she is making every effort to do so. She has also consumed a bit more solid food today.
This morning and early afternoon she was similarly alert as she was last night but got tired easily and is now sleeping. She is also feeling more nausea this afternoon and a few other discomforts. But all in all, her spirits are good. She feels that she has gotten a reprieve. The oncologist did tell her that he has saved the most potent and dangerous drug for later - most likely her next treatment. He wants to make sure that she has tolerated her first treatment well and gains some strength before he administers it. Again, she will be seeing him this coming Monday.
Thanks so much to those who have posted comments. I print them out and either give them to Mother or read them to her. She is very cheered by them.
My best wishes to all,
Melissa
Tuesday 12 June 2007
Post #3: Current status after first chemo treatment
Dear all,
As of 2:30 p.m. PDT June 12
Overall: Anita is home now and resting. She tolerated her first chemo-therapy treatment very well. So far, no adverse reactions. She even marshalled her resolve and strength to go out to a restaurant after the treatment and try to eat something so that John and I could get away from the "sickroom" and have a treat. So typical of Mother isn't it?!
[Unfortunately, in the middle of my typing this (@ 3:00 p.m.), she has had a bout of nausea. She is now, once again, resting and trying to sleep.]
Specific details: She started out this morning feeling very ill, more specifically, nauseated. At about 11:00 a.m., after a slight delay (there were quite a number of patients undergoing therapy this morning) , she went in for her first treatment. We discovered that the oncologist had changed the quantity of the drugs being administered to a less potent mixture. The objective is to see how well she tolerates the medications, given that this is her first treatment and given her current condition and age. If she does well, additional drugs will be added in the next treatment.
She was given the following drugs intravenously: a drug for nausea; Doxorubicin (brand names Adriamycin, Doxil, Rubex); Cyclophosphamide (brand names Cytoxan, Neosar); and Vincristine (brand names Oncovin, Vincasar). If she tolerates these drugs sufficiently well, her next treatment will include the drug Rituxan/Rituximab. Her next treatment will be in three weeks.
She has been advised to keep ahead of the nausea by taking her nausea pills every four to six hours for two days. Hair loss will occur in approximately 10 days.
Her treatment today lasted approximately one hour following prep. The oncologist came and spoke with her. She is to see him again on Monday June 18 so that he can evaluate how well she is doing. On Monday she will also undergo the first of weekly blood testing that will monitor the progress of the chemo-therapy in terms of her white blood cell count and other immuno-related conditions.
During her pre-op evaluation before her exploratory laparotomy on May 25, the doctors discovered that Anita also has a heart murmur. The oncologist has referred her for the following exams: echo exam of the heart, doppler echo exam-heart, and doppler color flow ADD-O. It is possible that she will have these exams on Monday June 18 as well, depending on scheduling.
A critical factor for her now is nutrition. She eats distressingly little and has continued to lose weight. It is essential that she get the appropriate and necessary amounts of nutrients. She also must drink at least 2 liters of water each day. We are starting her on nutrient shakes today. These will consist of soy milk, whey protein powder, a super green formula protein-mineral/veggie/juice powder concoction, and INP-6 & Inosital immune booster powder all blended with dates and/or other natural fruits and fruit juices. John and I will be monitoring her intake.
We have been informed that the remission rate for cancers of Anita's type and age can be as high as 70% depending on the individual and other factors. That is an encouraging statistic and let us all hope that she is within that 70%.
Again thanks to all of you for your continuing support and healing thoughts. It means so very much to Mother.
As of 2:30 p.m. PDT June 12
Overall: Anita is home now and resting. She tolerated her first chemo-therapy treatment very well. So far, no adverse reactions. She even marshalled her resolve and strength to go out to a restaurant after the treatment and try to eat something so that John and I could get away from the "sickroom" and have a treat. So typical of Mother isn't it?!
[Unfortunately, in the middle of my typing this (@ 3:00 p.m.), she has had a bout of nausea. She is now, once again, resting and trying to sleep.]
Specific details: She started out this morning feeling very ill, more specifically, nauseated. At about 11:00 a.m., after a slight delay (there were quite a number of patients undergoing therapy this morning) , she went in for her first treatment. We discovered that the oncologist had changed the quantity of the drugs being administered to a less potent mixture. The objective is to see how well she tolerates the medications, given that this is her first treatment and given her current condition and age. If she does well, additional drugs will be added in the next treatment.
She was given the following drugs intravenously: a drug for nausea; Doxorubicin (brand names Adriamycin, Doxil, Rubex); Cyclophosphamide (brand names Cytoxan, Neosar); and Vincristine (brand names Oncovin, Vincasar). If she tolerates these drugs sufficiently well, her next treatment will include the drug Rituxan/Rituximab. Her next treatment will be in three weeks.
She has been advised to keep ahead of the nausea by taking her nausea pills every four to six hours for two days. Hair loss will occur in approximately 10 days.
Her treatment today lasted approximately one hour following prep. The oncologist came and spoke with her. She is to see him again on Monday June 18 so that he can evaluate how well she is doing. On Monday she will also undergo the first of weekly blood testing that will monitor the progress of the chemo-therapy in terms of her white blood cell count and other immuno-related conditions.
During her pre-op evaluation before her exploratory laparotomy on May 25, the doctors discovered that Anita also has a heart murmur. The oncologist has referred her for the following exams: echo exam of the heart, doppler echo exam-heart, and doppler color flow ADD-O. It is possible that she will have these exams on Monday June 18 as well, depending on scheduling.
A critical factor for her now is nutrition. She eats distressingly little and has continued to lose weight. It is essential that she get the appropriate and necessary amounts of nutrients. She also must drink at least 2 liters of water each day. We are starting her on nutrient shakes today. These will consist of soy milk, whey protein powder, a super green formula protein-mineral/veggie/juice powder concoction, and INP-6 & Inosital immune booster powder all blended with dates and/or other natural fruits and fruit juices. John and I will be monitoring her intake.
We have been informed that the remission rate for cancers of Anita's type and age can be as high as 70% depending on the individual and other factors. That is an encouraging statistic and let us all hope that she is within that 70%.
Again thanks to all of you for your continuing support and healing thoughts. It means so very much to Mother.
Monday 11 June 2007
Post #2: A Note from Anita
Dear Ones,
Thanks, dear friends and some family, for your kind emails, flowers and other thoughtful, kind communications. I haven't been able to respond to all because I so definitely have my up and down times, where I'm doing all I can to hang in there (which, as you know, isn't like me.) Well, tomorrow's my big "get-this-show-on-the-road, Chemo Day."
Yes, finally--if they get the heart echo stuff done today--I'll get the first fierce knockout round of chemo for this Lymphoma madness: three hours Tuesday and five hours Wednesday, which they warn me might or might not let me survive. But I'm a born survivor, so forget that! I might vomit my head off for a few days and end up wearing a wig quite quickly, but I am opting that I'll soon get over all that, the tumors will shrink, and ultimately I'll hear that magic word: "Remission."
However, just in case I kick the bucket, please remember this: I've had virtually 80 full years of hugging life and kicking you-know-what, I've had wonderful friends and family, and at least ONE great husband--though even the children's father gave me the gift of three lovely kids. (As with most parental-children situations--mine certainly no exception--we have had our moments; but in the long run, they, as with brothers and sisters and most in-laws and a few very choice friends, they are all winners.) Naturally, we all err--and err again--and along the way collect regretful sighs and reasons to ask forgiveness. But, hopefully, we shed our own particular aura of joy and kindness and goodness along with the unmentionables in our own circular, circumscribed and very special little worlds, and gratefully receive some stronger lights from the larger worlds out there spinning and spinning through time eternal. And I, for one, hope when the curtain opens for my time to enter the great silent halls of death, I'll at least be allowed to lie down with pleasant dreams, if not get to fully embrace the wonders supposedly that make up Heaven on the other side of St. Peter's gate, or suffer the agonizing horrors we hear hell and the devil's pitchfork might have in store for us.
Who knows! But at this late date, I can't go back and adopt an angelic pose and adorn myself with a glittering halo. They say it helps to get baptized. Well, once, at 12 years of age, I did that too. Lined up with two other giggly girls, each of us with a big crush on the yearly traveling preacher. I think the preacher knew exactly what he had in his hands ready to dunk under the warm, muddy creek water. The baptism wasn't exactly what I had in mind. He pushed me under as far as he could, my dress billowed up like a parachute, and I came up choking and looking like a drowned rat (not exactly a romantic dream come true.) But though I can't say that gawky attempt got me any gold stars in the getting-to-heaven trek, at least I was "baptized"--maybe, for all I know now, he was a wandering Holy Roller. Anyway, just in case, a few years later, feeling remorse for some sin--or sins--wanting to make my mother look a little happier with her second daughter, whom she had probably regretfully named after her, I got myself solemnly "Sprinkled", in the traditional "Methodist" way. (Though I don't recall any spectacular lasting change during my teenage rebellious years.)
So, okay--I'm not afraid. I've even shed my fear of getting shoved in the cremation oven, and agreed to be cremated, where both John and my ashes will--at our separate designated times of death--be put in thick plastic urns that get cemented to keep out critters and such, and put in the ground side-by-side in--guess where!--since John is a veteran of World War II, and we've been legally married these 43 years, we'll get to be buried in the National Military cemetery closest to us, which is in our county, Riverside, and have little headstones with our names. So that part is taken care of, paid for, and done the most economical way possible. When John's time comes, he can even have a 21-gun salute, we were told by the prim little woman dressed in pink and aqua (and wearing hose, in the hot Desert!), who kept tossing her long blond hair over one shoulder and who, I admit, looked a little shocked when I said, "Then, John has to die first because I want to be sure my hero in life goes out with 21-guns in a very fitting, final salute." (She tried to make a chuckle, as we signed the bottom line, but it wasn't very convincing--though when was that a field of endeavor with much sense of humor?)
Living and dying is the natural, unavoidable course of what makes up "life." I don't say I like all this cancer stuff that goes with it. And all my life I've hated vomiting. But if it's my time, so be it. Lift a glass in toast to knowing I did all I was big enough to do. I hope the ledger gives me more credits of my good-better-or best deeds so they'll rank over my worse, worser and worst ones, as my favorite newscaster singles people out on "Countdown." And if having loved a whole lot, taken the many chances, the risks I have, I hope the results of my trials and tribulations check out on the favorable side. That, then, maybe, my ashes will try kicking up some dust inside the tidy little concreted encasement from some "restless legs" syndrome I seem to have in my DNA. That just maybe the HE or SHE or that nameless, formless great spirit called God will forgive me. And who knows, maybe on my Judgment day, God will fudge a little on my behalf to balance the seesaw enough to at least let me lie peacefully, side by side, next to my beloved John, with maybe some lost angel dipping a dusty wing in a kind of salute as it flutters by on a warm and moonlit summer's night.
Love,
Anita
Thanks, dear friends and some family, for your kind emails, flowers and other thoughtful, kind communications. I haven't been able to respond to all because I so definitely have my up and down times, where I'm doing all I can to hang in there (which, as you know, isn't like me.) Well, tomorrow's my big "get-this-show-on-the-road, Chemo Day."
Yes, finally--if they get the heart echo stuff done today--I'll get the first fierce knockout round of chemo for this Lymphoma madness: three hours Tuesday and five hours Wednesday, which they warn me might or might not let me survive. But I'm a born survivor, so forget that! I might vomit my head off for a few days and end up wearing a wig quite quickly, but I am opting that I'll soon get over all that, the tumors will shrink, and ultimately I'll hear that magic word: "Remission."
However, just in case I kick the bucket, please remember this: I've had virtually 80 full years of hugging life and kicking you-know-what, I've had wonderful friends and family, and at least ONE great husband--though even the children's father gave me the gift of three lovely kids. (As with most parental-children situations--mine certainly no exception--we have had our moments; but in the long run, they, as with brothers and sisters and most in-laws and a few very choice friends, they are all winners.) Naturally, we all err--and err again--and along the way collect regretful sighs and reasons to ask forgiveness. But, hopefully, we shed our own particular aura of joy and kindness and goodness along with the unmentionables in our own circular, circumscribed and very special little worlds, and gratefully receive some stronger lights from the larger worlds out there spinning and spinning through time eternal. And I, for one, hope when the curtain opens for my time to enter the great silent halls of death, I'll at least be allowed to lie down with pleasant dreams, if not get to fully embrace the wonders supposedly that make up Heaven on the other side of St. Peter's gate, or suffer the agonizing horrors we hear hell and the devil's pitchfork might have in store for us.
Who knows! But at this late date, I can't go back and adopt an angelic pose and adorn myself with a glittering halo. They say it helps to get baptized. Well, once, at 12 years of age, I did that too. Lined up with two other giggly girls, each of us with a big crush on the yearly traveling preacher. I think the preacher knew exactly what he had in his hands ready to dunk under the warm, muddy creek water. The baptism wasn't exactly what I had in mind. He pushed me under as far as he could, my dress billowed up like a parachute, and I came up choking and looking like a drowned rat (not exactly a romantic dream come true.) But though I can't say that gawky attempt got me any gold stars in the getting-to-heaven trek, at least I was "baptized"--maybe, for all I know now, he was a wandering Holy Roller. Anyway, just in case, a few years later, feeling remorse for some sin--or sins--wanting to make my mother look a little happier with her second daughter, whom she had probably regretfully named after her, I got myself solemnly "Sprinkled", in the traditional "Methodist" way. (Though I don't recall any spectacular lasting change during my teenage rebellious years.)
So, okay--I'm not afraid. I've even shed my fear of getting shoved in the cremation oven, and agreed to be cremated, where both John and my ashes will--at our separate designated times of death--be put in thick plastic urns that get cemented to keep out critters and such, and put in the ground side-by-side in--guess where!--since John is a veteran of World War II, and we've been legally married these 43 years, we'll get to be buried in the National Military cemetery closest to us, which is in our county, Riverside, and have little headstones with our names. So that part is taken care of, paid for, and done the most economical way possible. When John's time comes, he can even have a 21-gun salute, we were told by the prim little woman dressed in pink and aqua (and wearing hose, in the hot Desert!), who kept tossing her long blond hair over one shoulder and who, I admit, looked a little shocked when I said, "Then, John has to die first because I want to be sure my hero in life goes out with 21-guns in a very fitting, final salute." (She tried to make a chuckle, as we signed the bottom line, but it wasn't very convincing--though when was that a field of endeavor with much sense of humor?)
Living and dying is the natural, unavoidable course of what makes up "life." I don't say I like all this cancer stuff that goes with it. And all my life I've hated vomiting. But if it's my time, so be it. Lift a glass in toast to knowing I did all I was big enough to do. I hope the ledger gives me more credits of my good-better-or best deeds so they'll rank over my worse, worser and worst ones, as my favorite newscaster singles people out on "Countdown." And if having loved a whole lot, taken the many chances, the risks I have, I hope the results of my trials and tribulations check out on the favorable side. That, then, maybe, my ashes will try kicking up some dust inside the tidy little concreted encasement from some "restless legs" syndrome I seem to have in my DNA. That just maybe the HE or SHE or that nameless, formless great spirit called God will forgive me. And who knows, maybe on my Judgment day, God will fudge a little on my behalf to balance the seesaw enough to at least let me lie peacefully, side by side, next to my beloved John, with maybe some lost angel dipping a dusty wing in a kind of salute as it flutters by on a warm and moonlit summer's night.
Love,
Anita
Sunday 10 June 2007
Post #1: Latest on Anita -
Dear Family and Friends of Anita,
I have started this blogsite with the aim of keeping all of you updated with the latest on Mother's condition. The blogsite will enable you to easily check at any time for the latest update without the concern of disturbing either her or John at home. The blogsite will also enable Mother and John to be able to have better telephone conversations with you and free them from having to repeat the same information to each caller. I will endeavor to update this blogpage as soon as there is new information or at least twice daily.
As many of you already know, on June 2nd Mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 diffuse displacement B Cell Lymphoma of an agressive nature. The cancer has spread throughout her abdominal and chest cavity and is in her bone marrow. Chemo-therapy treatment is available for patients in her condition, but she was forewarned by her oncologist that some patients in a similar condition as hers have died following the first treatment. There is also a chance, that if she survives the first treatment, she might go into remission.
Faced with the choice of attempting treatment or letting the disease run its course, Mother has decided to try the treatment. She goes in for her first chemo-therapy session on Tuesday, June 12th at 10:30 a.m. She will be given a chemical composition known as "CHOP," each letter standing for a different ingredient. On the advice of a family member, who is also a specialist M.D., and who has consulted with Mother's oncologist, a fifth ingredient may be added this mix.
I am flying in to be with Mother and to assist both her and John during the course of her treatment. I will be arriving in the late afternoon on Monday, June 11. I plan on staying there, at the minimum, to July 3rd.
Mother is a true fighter. Her spirit, courage, and will to live are amazing. She is so grateful and thankful to all of you for your continued healing wishes, prayers, support, love and friendship.
Please keep those thoughts coming,
Melissa
I have started this blogsite with the aim of keeping all of you updated with the latest on Mother's condition. The blogsite will enable you to easily check at any time for the latest update without the concern of disturbing either her or John at home. The blogsite will also enable Mother and John to be able to have better telephone conversations with you and free them from having to repeat the same information to each caller. I will endeavor to update this blogpage as soon as there is new information or at least twice daily.
As many of you already know, on June 2nd Mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 diffuse displacement B Cell Lymphoma of an agressive nature. The cancer has spread throughout her abdominal and chest cavity and is in her bone marrow. Chemo-therapy treatment is available for patients in her condition, but she was forewarned by her oncologist that some patients in a similar condition as hers have died following the first treatment. There is also a chance, that if she survives the first treatment, she might go into remission.
Faced with the choice of attempting treatment or letting the disease run its course, Mother has decided to try the treatment. She goes in for her first chemo-therapy session on Tuesday, June 12th at 10:30 a.m. She will be given a chemical composition known as "CHOP," each letter standing for a different ingredient. On the advice of a family member, who is also a specialist M.D., and who has consulted with Mother's oncologist, a fifth ingredient may be added this mix.
I am flying in to be with Mother and to assist both her and John during the course of her treatment. I will be arriving in the late afternoon on Monday, June 11. I plan on staying there, at the minimum, to July 3rd.
Mother is a true fighter. Her spirit, courage, and will to live are amazing. She is so grateful and thankful to all of you for your continued healing wishes, prayers, support, love and friendship.
Please keep those thoughts coming,
Melissa
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